the thief
by koreilly
Summary: a thief originally from the hyperdimension got transferred to the alpha-dimension as he calls it but when he steals the irregular teleport crystal and uses it to travel back to the hyperdimension or so he thought rated T may change will be if first person (Cover by me, using paint was a nightmare)
1. Chapter 1

**_WARNING! WARNING!_**

 ** _The Neptune in this chapter isn't the real Neptune she is just a creation of my mind!_**

"Hey there readers I am the thief kian and I am currently on the run from a sadistic goddess and before you ask its not iris heart. ITS FUCKING PURPLE HEART!" I said before said goddess's katana slashed just over my head. Thank you scorpion for letting me borrow your old whips but now is not the time for thanks I gotta get the fuck outa here!

"As much as I've enjoyed this little farce going on here I gotta fly bye!" I said as the goddess raised her katana to strike vertically I yelled. "GET OVER HERE!" and like that I was gone, poof nothing but a very handsome cloud of dust where I stood.

"Darn it! I almost had him to!" purple heart said mean while I made my way to a near by roof "Now time to mess with this!" I pulled the blue crystal (Imagine the teleport crystal from sao).

"I don't know what you are but now I gotta scram before she senses me or he finds me anyway... CUE TIMESKIP!" **I hope the fourth wall is a masochist 'cause its gonna get alota abuse... but ten minutes later...**

"home sweet home!" I opened my door and walked into my shitty apartment to find scorpion (From mortal Kombat) sitting on my couch.

 **"About time you showed up I was getting bored!"** I still find it hard to believe I made friends with him

"It wasn't my fault! I took a job and had to steal some sort of crystal from the bassilicom and purple heart caught me walking out and went full sadist!" me and scorpion sighed

 **"I miss the hyperdimension it was so...peaceful."** Scorpion said (Ps for this story scorpion is human once again before you critics start!) before we heard a knock on the door.

"Please don't tell me it's who I think it is." I said looking out the keyhole and saw a white hoodie.

"Scorpion. Run." I said before the whole room went grey

"Oh good I can stop time for a few seconds now as much as I would love to tell all you readers about who I am and what I did to piss this goddess off that is for a different time but I'm sure I will get a chance once something extremely plot-convenient pops up." **SONOVABITCH!**

"Room service for one kian resnove" (last name of a great man) so purple heart doesn't think I know her human form ok lets have some fun!

"Oh sorry wrong room that man is four doors down." I said with a Russian accent.

"How gullible do you think I am?" dam it

"Not gullible enough." I said as the door flew off the hinges and a pissed looking Neptune with a sadistic smirk was standing on the other side of the door. "Just when I got my apartment the way I like it too." I said jokingly

"Do you understand the situation your in right now?" Neptune said changing forms to purple heart.

"Nope all I know is gtg bye!" Yes I said gtg don't judge then I stopped when my apartment exploded and I realised. "My games...all those hours of boss battles and shooting gone... oh well I can always start again!" if you didn't realise by now I'm pretty carefree so life can be difficult in new planetpatune but I make the most of it.

"Right I reckon I have twenty minutes before a katana will try to kill me so lets start with basic info shall we? My name is kian and I have no last name I just took resnove because I love the call of duty character victor resnove. I am twenty one and a big gamer but I'm originally from the hyperdimension and don't know how I got here and I have given this dimension the name alpha-dimension so being stuck here wasn't bad until I stole some pudding from a shop so you can imagine why Neptune/purple heart is trying to kill me speaking of which that's ten minutes of my time now to make a break for lastation!" I said using my whips like I'm Spiderman!

~10 minutes later~

thankfully I somehow managed to befriend the cpu of lastation, noire. don't ask how or why all I know is she needed a friend who isn't a sadist. "Halt!" fuck border control

"State your business in lastation." I could kill him but I'm friends with noire I cant.

"I intend to complete quests and raise lastation's shares." I said

"What is your name?" he asked

"Kian resnove. Now may I enter lastation?"

"You may Mr resnove." he said backing away from the dungeon entrance

"She's been asking for you ya know." the guard said making me smirk

"I bet she was." the thought of the Tsundere goddess asking for a thief made me laugh.

"Author I command thee for the sake of thy readers TIME SKIP!" **you are my worst hell spawn thus far... 10 minutes later**

"level 69 hmm author are you implying something?" **NOPE!**

"Ok, ok I understand its just a misunderstanding right?" **I swear to the original goddess I'm gonna go insane with you!**

I walked out of the cave dungeon and was greeted by the blade of black heart.

"Your late, again!" Black heart said putting her blade away and sighing

"Fashionably of course. sorry." I said bowing apologetically

"Well at least your time in planetpatune hasn't robbed you of you manners." Black heart said changing back to noire.

"So what did you do to annoy Neptune this time?" She asked with a hint of interest.

"Well I got info from a bassilicom member that purple was keeping a teleport crystal, though.." I paused as I took said crystal and showed it to the goddess. "..Notice anything?" I asked the now wide eyed goddess.

"I-its-" I cut her off "Irregular. Meaning it could teleport me back home, to my dimension. But I know I cant abandon people here, I came for resources for a project I had in mind." I said knowing noire has little to no friends so I planed to upgrade my phone so I could communicate with her and plutia.

"But what about your friends here? You know they will miss you even I might miss you a little bit! only a little!" Too Tsune to soon.

"Look that's my little project you see I'm upgrading my phone's receiver and hopefully that will allow me to communicate with other dimensions and yes I have someone from another dimension's number. All I need is a ware house and an hour. Could you give a friend that much?" The friend comment sealed it.

"Sure if its for a friend." I could see some steam come off her head.

In ten minutes we arrived a ware house at the outskirts of town and I couldn't see around the back. "This reminds me of that one episode of OSA abridged where that guy expected this with a shallow...grave" I now look at noire who shook her head. "I wouldn't put you in a shallow grave." she said as we enter the crippled building. "Perfect!" I set the materials on the ground and blocked everything out. Including the noire who was watching closely as the Image in my mind became a reality.

 _ **~ 30 min later~**_

As the appearance of my phone didn't change it still fit in my pockets and I now notice noire leaning over my shoulder.

"How long have you been standing there?" I asked and noire jumped because I finally answered her.

"I watched you build it for research purposes of course." she said examining the phone

"Well time for test one." I said pushing the number of a certain someone

 ** _our dimension_**

 ** _my pov_**

 **As I wondered who that bastard was gonna ring then my phone rang. "That sonovabitch!, Yellow?" I am gonna kill him!** "Hey author ya there tis your favourite oc kian!"

 **"You realise I've got a Spartan with the same name as you."**

"don't be like that oh and thanks for picking up it helped a lot!"

 **"Good luck** **thief."**

 ** _Alpha dimension_**

 ** _kian's pov_**

"The experiment was a success! I can contact other dimensions! okay now I can go!" I said drawing the crystal and looking at noire. "Call when ya wanna talk- wait do you have my number?" noire then whipped her phone and I assume she scrolled through her contacts and shook her head and I took out one of my business cards with my number on it...Don't gimme that look! "Ok later!" I say giving a two finger salute and activating the crystal and noire just waved goodbye when something purple entered the building "N-" I couldn't hear the end but I'm free! IM FUCKING FREE! Free-falling that is crap-THUD

 _ **THANKS FOR READING:)**_

 **lemme know Whatcha think and I'll take it into consideration. so for now NEP ON!**


	2. Ultradimension yay

"I am free, free falling that is. this is kian the thief here and I'm hoping that I got teleported to the hyper dimension otherwise I'm gonna have to find an irregular teleport crystal so, lets see what the sadistic bastard writing this story has planed!" **I don't own hyperdimension neptunia that right goes to compile heart and idea factory and I'm not sadistic I'm idealistic and enjoy the suffering of my oc only.**

"Sure you d-ow!" I was hit by a branch then falling through more branches until I hit the ground, Lovely. "I'm gonna fucking kill the author if my phone is broken!" thankfully it was still in one pice. but I was missing something but what? This is when I realised I didn't have my hat! My black and red cowboy hat! I was now on my knees, mourning. IT WAS A GOOD HAT OK! Ahem... after my episode I stood up and looked around.

"hmm looks like virtua forest before I accidently burnt it down...strange." I said when I heard two voices.

"Ughh hurry up plutia!" Tsundere, arogent, pissed only noire could be all three at once.

"Maybe you should slow down noire. I'm going as fast as I can." that slow talker could only be plutia just then my phone vibrated in my pocket hmm unknown number odd. I walked away from the two goddesses and pick up.

"yellow?" i felt the sadism from the other end of the line god dam it Neptune.

"Where are you? I went to lastation to invite you to my place so we could chat only to find you using _my_ teleport crystal!" i was holding in laughter.

"Your place or the dungeon underneath the bassilicom?" This made her giggle.

"Aww what's the matter you don't wanna play games?" I could see that sadistic smirk from here. Still sends shivers down my spine.

"Well here's how I see it, I'm in a new dimension away from you and I'm finally at peace so no more games for me, ever." now she was laughing like a maniac.

"You think traversing dimensions will save you from me?! ha you truly not worthy of being a *click*" i hung up and probably offended nep fans out there as well so sorry?

CRASH! I turned to see a younger version of the sadist I was talking to so I can assume its not her, maybe?

"Whoa I landed on something soft!" yeah that ain't the sadist but lets see how this will go.

"Hello person from the sky." ok so plutia still talks slow and is sweet in this form but I still remember the first time I met iris heart and I think I became a masochist that day. true story.

"oh hello lady uhh where am I?" virtua forest seriously nep.

"We're in planetpatune." plutia told Neptune while I leaned up against a tree deciding when the best to reveal myself when I caught a glimpse of an ancient dragon, perfect.

"Nuh uh I know planetpatune like the back of my hand and this ain't planetpatune." hmm I've got a feeling I'm not the only dimension hoper here but that dragon gave me a look...what?

" **Get over here!** " the unfortunate dragon was about to see what a Shirai Ryu can do. Yes I'm a member of the Shirai Ryu don't question me. My whips stuck into it's eyes and a roar of pain filled the air and I fly to the dragon and kick it in the face unbeknownst to me the three goddesses were watching my fight.

"Hey why is he fighting a dragon by himself?" plutia asked while noire shook her head.

"He must have a death wish but when he is about to die we step in got it?" noire said as Neptune put her hand to her chin.

"I swear I've seen this guy before." this earned a look from noire.

Anyway I was now on the dragons back and somehow had the Shirai Ryu uniform but I felt hot-headed and I think I know why. Thanks scorpion!

"Time to finish this!" I yelled as I pulled the dragon towards me with one hand and ripped off my mask revealing a skull of flames.

" _ **I always wanted to say this,**_ **FINISH HIM!"** I lit one of the whips and opened the dragons mouth, then threw it ad hard as I could. I then felt the spike impale something I was hoping it was the heart but you never know with dragons but then it burst into flames and pixels I finished the trade mark finish him with. _ **"**_ **Flawless victory, fatality!"** My uniform disappeared and the goddesses stepped out of hiding making me jump.

"Whoa don't sneak up on a guy like that!" I'm gonna pretend I don't know them but it may be more difficult because I can sense this Neptune is of hyperdimension and I did some work for histoire over the years so she might recognise me.

"Wow you beat that dragon no problem at all." plutia said and I smirked a little.

"I'm use to dealing with them, So might I ask who you all are or will I ask the author?" **GOD FUCKING DAMIT**

"Well hello fellow fourth wall breaker I'm Neptune the main heroine of this fan fic!" Neptune said and I laughed a little.

"Well about time I met another and FYI the author doesn't even know who the main girl is yet." **I hate to admit your right but your right...**

"Of course I'm right! I'm the main character!" **to send in the Lin Kuei to kill him or to turn the Shirai Ryu on him? really tough decisions.**

"Just continue the story." I had failed to notice the world was grey until the colours returned.

"So how were you able to kill that dragon so easily?" noire asked and this is the part I was afraid of.

"Well... have any of you heard of the ninja clan, Shirai Ryu?" I asked and they all shook their heads.

"Hmm interesting. First off my name is kian resnove. the reason I can fight like that because my clan, which is lead by an undead ninja known as scorpion or Hanzo Hasashi, The Shirai Ryu specialises in the fire arts that is why I can manipulate fire with ease but for a very long time scorpion was under the influence of the sorcerer Quan Chi who eliminated our prior clan by influencing our once rival clan, the Lin Kuei. But after years of awaiting the return of mortality Hanzo had his wish granted and the clan was revived. That's all." I said without taking a breath.

"I'm not sure which is less believable, the fact he claims to be in a clan who's leader is an undead ninja or the fact he didn't stop to take a breath." noire said before Neptune walked up to me.

"Do you know who I am? Honestly." SHIT! uhh...umm well she asked for honesty

"Sigh yes, You are Neptune also known as purple heart, CPU of planetpatune, land of purple progress." noire and plutia gasped in shock.

"SHE'S A CPU?!" They yelled in unison.

"Sweet some one knows who I am!" Neptune jumped and fist bumped the air while I rubbed the back of my head.

"Well I'm not up to date in current affairs in your dimension since I've been gone three years." I said ant the three of them gasped in shock

"DIFRENT DIMENSION?!" This is getting annoying

"I can tell because I met her in the hyperdimension, and that is the same aura I remember feeling when histoire summoned me for intel missions on rival clans." I said and they calmed down a bit.

"I see so your the scout histy always talked about!" Neptune said and I smirked

"I suppose I was a scout, anyway dose anyone want to know what bullshit I've had to put up with for three years?" I asked and Neptune shrugged her shoulders

"Alright-"

 **I'm gonna cut it here guys sorry for the wait between school and writers block I've had a hard time thinking of what to do for this chapter but the writers block wore off so I'm back in the game so until next time bye!**

"YOU FUCKING CUT ME OF-"


	3. revival of the Shirai Ryu phase 1

As we entered the bassilicom I took notice of the lack of torture instruments.

"This is different from what I usually see when I come to the bassilicom." I said as we got to the elevators.

"Do we want to know what you usually see?" noire asked as the doors closed.

"If you like torture machines." I said as my phone rang.

"And another call from the sadist goddess." I then checked the number to see noire's. "Listen I'll call you back in a minute." I said before hanging up

"Who was that?" Neptune asked.

"An old friend who will kill me if she finds me." I said shaking my head with a smile as the doors opened the girls walked to the end of the hall and I called noire.

"Before you start." I said as she picked up and I could hear a reluctant sigh.

"Fine, So how's the Hyperdimension?" she asked.

"I don't know I'm not in the Hyperdimension, but I met someone from the Hyperdimension." And que long ass explanation.

"Then where are you?" she sounded concerned.

"The hell if I know but there's a Plutia, a noire and the Neptune from my dimension." ok que the screech.

"EHHHHHHHH!?" bulls eye!

"Jeez calm down. So far the noire and Plutia are normal." I said

"wait what do you mean normal?" oh shit.

"Oh shit my battery's dying call ya back!" I hung up before she could say more.

"Phew, now author what are you planning?" **Not much but I'll let events play out, more fun for the readers.**

"Oh sure the readers." I said as a tiny person floating on a book emerged from the elevator.

"Oh hello sir might I ask why you are here?" histoire asked as I smirked.

"I was brought here by plu- I mean iris heart." I forgot I need to address the goddesses formally

"I see, was she with a girl with black hair?" she asked

"Yes noire, and she brought someone called Neptune with her, good luck." I said walking to the elevator

"Oh before you leave, what's your name?" she asked as the doors opened.

"Kian resnove." I said as the doors closed.

"Now where have I heard that name before?" histoire asked herself before she floated to the room at the end of the hall.

"Ok now to find a few souls willing to become Shirai Ryu." I said as I stepped out the front door.

 **Cave under planetpatune, deepest point**

"Ok I believe this place is the biggest pain in the ass to get to so the perfect location for the Shirai Ryu temple! plus it reminds me of nether realm!" I said as I stood in the large cavern before flames swirled in a large spiral. Instead of the flames dying down they engulfed me!

 **" _GOD FUCKING DAMIT! My voice?! Author a mirror would be greatly appreciated!"_ Look in the temple dick.**

 _ **"Oh**_ **yeah!"** I ran to the temple which was like a giant house but with minor fires breaking out here and there. After a few minutes of searching I finally found a mirror and the person staring back was unexpected.

" _ **Sweet mother of scorpion!"**_ Scorpion was staring back at me but how I thought I left hi in Alphadimension!

"Hey Kian ya in here?" how the hell did Neptune follow me?

" **I'm certain she saw you walk here."** Wait that's scorpions voice!

" _ **Where are you grandmaster?"**_ I'm starting to dig my new voice oh I forgot to describe it! Well it's deeper and has a slight echo to it.

" **enough admiring yourself Kian, As for how I got in your head well remember that explosion caused by purpleheart?"** I recall I told him to get out?

" **You did, I didn't listen and walked into my room which somehow had around fifty pounds of C4 inside so to make sure I survived I passed my mind and the ability to use my old body to** **you**." oh good I'm not insane yet!

" **You passed that line centuries ago..."** ouch that hurt.

"Hey mister!" oh shit! I turned to see Plutia, Neptune and noire

 _ **"What do you want?"**_ I asked attempting to find a way out.

"Whoa sick voice man. but were looking for a guy 'bout your height, blue eyes and black hair have ya seen him?" Ok I think I can make a clone here then turn back any thoughts on that master?

 **"Might work."** brilliant!

 ** _"Ahh you must be friends of Kian's! Yes he's here, KIAN!"_** the clone said as I dropped down from the roof in my Shirai Ryu uniform.

 ** _"I'll take my leave, Kian remember what to do."_** The clone burst into flames.

"Who was that?" Plutia asked.

"Remember when I said my clan was run by an undead ninja?" they all nodded their heads. "Well that was scorpion, my master." I said when I was wrapped in flames and this time I was in a black leather jacket with flame patterns stitched into the arms, Some white trousers with black patterns stitched into them, a T-shirt with scorpions face on it ant a crimson cowboy hat. "Nice." I said and the girls looked at me in shock.

"You were wearing plain clothes back in planetpatune now you stand out like a sore thumb!" noire complained but by now I'm used to it.

"Providing the author isn't a di-

 **Alright I'm gonna end it here lads and lass's. sorry for the wait but school is almost done! so expect more noble heart and thief! and now for Kian complaints of the day. oh joy**

"I don't know why I bother, bye guys!" **No complaints? Someone feel his forehead!**


	4. kian is getting fucked

"So what the hell are we doing again?" I asked since as soon as I got back noire decides to drag us to a dungeon!

"Noire goes out to look for CPU memories which can make you a CPU!" Plutia said happily

"What's the catch?" I had to ask because as long as its good for something its likely bad for something as well.

"Well there's a 50% chance of the user becoming a hideous monster." I knew it.

"Oh well what's life without risk." I said.

"They don't work on males." that...that's sexist.

"well thanks to the author I'm ridiculously op so the cpu thing would just be a waste of time." ( **author dialling ambulance after fourth wall collapsed) you will be receiving the hospital bills shortly.**

"Whys that?" Neptune asked.

"1. I would never be able to run a nation. 2. I would have no challenges left in this world or any other if I became a god." I said simply.

"But you would never age." oh contraire noire.

"I don't age like this either, for you see I am dead." I will regret that very soon.

"EHHHHHHH?!" MY FUCKING EARS!

"Ow! shit that hurt." I said covering my ears.

"How are you dead?!" Noire screeched.

"Well..."

 **flashback thirty years ago...**

oh a flash back well I was running from purpleheart but since I was new to the city I foolishly ran to a dead end alleyway which purple followed me to then proceeded to tear me apart literally she started with my left arm then to the right arm then the legs and finally my balls. Later scorpion then found me an hour later nut by that time I bled out, but apparently he saw I had a strong soul which stuck around after I died so he used some basic necromancer sorcery to fix my limbs and restore my vital organs this was the day I joined the Shirai Ryu.

 **flashback end...**

"...its kinda fuzzy." I said lying my fiery undead ass off

"Sigh* well we are at the dungeon now so everyone split up and look for one." noire said well more like demanded.

"Ok~" Plutia said.

"I'm gonna find one before you do noire bye!" Neptune said running off into the dungeon as my phone rang wow I'm popular at long last!

"Kian here." I picked up without reading the number.

"hey how's the new dimension." noire now I'm sure I'm screwed.

"Well you aren't a CPU here and I'm stuck in a dungeon looking for an item to make you or Neptune a goddess." I said and if my timing is right noire should be cosplaying right about now.

"Your gonna pick me right?" she asked and I laughed a little.

"No I'm gonna pick a different version of the sadist who killed me twice." she sighed I'm not sure if it was in relief or she was pissed.

"Anyway keep out of trouble you don't want to get torn apart for the third time." she said and I laughed.

"Ya never know maybe the third time might knock some sense into me." I heard another sigh before she hung up.

"Hey who was that?~" Plutia asked

"That was the friend who is quite sick of my lack of seriousness." I said and Plutia laughed a little.

"You don't seem like the serious type." she said before a rat holding a sphere.

"Oh a rat. Hello mister rat!" Plutia chased the rat and I sensed Arfoire whom I was friends with in alpha-dimension she was nice and was misunderstood she was nice and not evil anymore due to slight torture from an unnamed Shirai Ryu member. what are you look 'in at?

"Well time to find those two and maybe I could bump into Arfoire on the way." I said walking down the middle path which no one went down.

"Hmm?" I looked down to see I went Shirai Ryu meaning there's a fight near by good I was getting bored.

"HAHAHAH! you foolish children you thought you could beat me?!" that cocky voice I recognise anywhere.

"Arfoire." I peaked over the ledge to see Arfoire standing over Neptune and noire.

"Well now to be a hero." I said jumping down to fight the witch who will win if I show weakness.

"Would you kindly leave those girls alone, witch." I said and now I feel like I need to puke.

"Oh and who are you?" now for an anime trope!

"The one who is gonna kick you ass." wait author I was meant to go into awesome backstory! **Go fuck yourself onto the action.**

"You will never defeat me!" she charged at me and I drew my katanas and blocked her attack before running at her with the doom blade and preforming an upward slash.

"Gah!" a small amount of blood leaked out of her leg but like the Arfoire I know she powered through and stabbed me in the balls yep just like the one I know.

"Well done you found my weak point." I said punching her in the face causing a nose bleed

"My, my this is quite a turn out." sweet mother of the elder gods that's iris hearts voice me and Arfoire turned to see said sadist in her dominatrix outfit holding two spheres and a rat

"And who's this?" Arfoire asked.

"someone not to be fucked with." I said shivering.

"how disgusting something like you picking on pretty little things like these." noire and Neptune were both in shock by the fact this is iris heart and me and Arfoire were frozen in place.

"Plutia! I told you not to transform!" noire screeched.

"Whoa that's Plutia's HDD?! What happened to the slow talking cutie?" she became the dominatrix you see before you.

"Hey why did we stop?" I asked Arfoire who shrugged her shoulders as noire gasps in shock.

"Plutia are those CPU memories?!" wait those rice balls are things that make you a cpu? Author is this true? **According to the game yes.** I would have thought it would be a weapon but anyway.

"Wait how did you get those?" iris heart lifted the rat.

"He kindly donated these to me." she said as she discarded the rat.

"Plutia give one of those memories right now!" noire begged

"Alright on one condition since these spheres are so precious to you, you must give me something precious in return~" she said seductively.

"What like my Bod? sorry that's off limits! well maybe for you or kian I'd make an exception but." WAIT WHAT!?

"Hey your nose is bleeding." Arfoire said and I cleared up some blood.

"Speak for yourself." I said with a blush at Neptune's comment.

"My what a high bar to set Neppy alright I except. now noire Neptune has offered something very precious to her now what do you propose?" she looked ready for this.

"Simple I offer you kian." I burst out laughing.

"Wait your serious?! Ohhh fuck-berries." I said closing my eyes praying for a miracle

"My what a gracious offer~ I happily accept." my eyes were shaded at this point.

"Fuck it I'm out." I said walking away.

 **Well that was fun so kian is now Plutia's.**

" _ **Very interesting author my student will be very upset."**_

 **And I will laugh my ass off scorpion so that's it for now hope to see you in the next chapter and please review I always appreciate them**


	5. a new member

"So the Shirai Ryu are in Gameindustry and you are sure they aren't a threat?" noire asked me.

"As long as scorpion is in charge yeah gameindustry should be fine." I said as I got a call.

"Ill catch up. Yellow?" I picked up the phone and I felt sadism in the force.

"Hello kian~" Oh thank the gods its iris heart.

"Hey my favourite sadist who is the unfortunate victim today?" I asked jokingly.

"That's not funny kian!" she was serious.

"What's wrong? did she do anything?" I asked.

"Well noire told me you aren't with us anymore is it true?" I feel like an asshole.

"Yes but I'm not where I want to be." I said

"Oh then there's a chance we might say goodbye this time." The reason I like Plutia so much is that she can still scare the shit out of me.

"Wait what do you mean is there another crystal?" I asked because there is only meant to be one in each dimension!

"If blanny's research is correct then yes there is~" this means purple is after it to kill me if she knows about it that is.

"Dose purple know?" I heard a sigh on the other end amplifying my fear.

"Yes she was the one who persuaded Blanny to research the subject so yes she knows." I sighed.

"thanks for the update talk to ya later bye." I hung up.

"Alright you can stop hiding behind the tree now Neptune." I said and all three of them came out of hiding.

"Aww how did he catch us?" Neptune complained.

"So what are the new goddesses gonna do?" I asked not revealing my secrets.

"Well I'm gong to start my nation so I'll be busy." typical noire work before friends.

"You'll visit us right?" Plutia if she's similar to the noire I know she'll be here whenever she gets the chance.

"Sure when I'm not busy taking your shares!" She says that but- wait where am I gonna stay?

"Well this is clearly a goddess thing so I'm gonna go." I said trying to sneak away but I have little luck when it comes to these three.

"Not so fast buster!" Neptune grabbed my coat.

"Wait we never asked this but who are you faithful to?" ok time to fuck with them.

"My wife Suzan." supress your laughter.

"EHHHHHH!?" I couldn't hold the laughter any longer

"Do you guys really think I had a wife?! HAHAH priceless." I then got three punches to the gut and became a member of team rocket.

In planetpatune..

"Come on girly it'll be fun." a man in a black leather jacket said to a girl who he had pinned up against the wall.

"Get away from me you creep." the girl said trying to get away. **now to make sure this doesn't become a M story I summon my least favourite oc kian thief.**

"SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT!" I yelled as he fell from the sky in a ball of fire which landed beside the scene that unfolded before us.

"Fuck a witness." the man said as he drew a knife.

" **Come 'ere!"** I said as his spike impaled the rapist.

"Now that was annoying. Hey you ok?" I asked the girl who's cloths where slightly out of place.

"Run home now and forget what you saw here." the girl had recovered enough to answer form the look of things

"I actually don't have a home anymore because my dad threw me out so I'm homeless." me thinks I have a new recruit.

"Then I have a proposition for you miss?" I asked the young girl. Oh shit I forgot to describe her she has a blue hoodie with a flaming black spear on it she had purple shorts, purple eyes and short brown hair.

"My name's Sarah Narran."

"Ok miss Narran will you join my clan, The Shirai Ryu." I asked and she thought about it.

"What's in it for me?" oh she really reminds of a younger less badass version of me.

"Free hospitality, Free food and I will train you in the arts of fire-manipulation among other things." I said and she thought about it for a few seconds before nodding.

"Alright now this may sting a little." I grabbed her shoulder before teleporting to the temple to find a man in a business suit standing in front of the temple I became scorpion and walked up to the man.

 _ **"What business do you have here?"**_ I fucking love this voice.

"Wah! Who are you?" time to scare the bacon.

 _ **"I am scorpion spectre of nether realm, and guardian of this temple. State your intentions before I throw you out."**_ I can sense evil from this man.

"I believe this is the perfect place to set up a base to infiltrate planetpatune." clearly this man hasn't the slightest clue about being evil so I'll give him some pointers in the future.

" ** _Then you are a threat to this nation and will be eliminated if you remain here."_** I said as cold as I could manage.

"You wouldn't dare lay a hand on the minister of lowee would you?" Big mistake. I grabbed him by the neck and threw him out a hole in the roof of the cave.

"Phew He was annoying!" I said powering down and stretching

"You realise that you just threw one of the most powerful people in this world out a hole in the roof right?" Sarah asked

"So? He was a nuisance, oh and by the way if anyone asks if I'm scorpion say no." she looked confused.

"Why not?" Sarah asked and I shook my head.

"Because if people learn I'm scorpion our enemies may attack us when were unaware or worse when were with people we care about." I said walking into the temple and Sarah followed.

"first things first her is your uniform let me know if its to tight and I'll find you one more fitting." I said giving her a folded up uniform.

If you need me I'll be in my current residence, the bassilicom." I said walking out of the room so she can get changed. I then walked into the kitchen and flied the cupboards with food then teleported to the bassilicom.

 **Ok scorpion any thoughts on that one?**

 _ **"Not bad but I sense that minister is going to be a problem ."**_

 **That he is but anyway guys I'm koreilly and he's scorpion and we bid you adue.**


	6. the b-day

I looked to my right to see it was the sixth of august a day I always enjoy due to the fact its a day off.

"Well i got things to do so see ya all later!" I said leaving the bassilicom.

 **3rd person pov...**

"Hey plutie wanna go see where he's going?" Neptune asked her fellow cpu

"ok it might be fun." Plutia said as they set out to stalk kian- i mean follow kian.

"So sir what would you like crafted today?" The store clerk asked kian as Neptune and Plutia walked in with thick trench coats. why you ask well they aren't trying to get caught and in anime the more suspicious you are the less likely you are to get caught so roll with it.

"Uh two katanas with a fire aspect." Kian said. The man nodded and went into the back room as kian left the store followed by nep and Plutia. The two followed kian until he entered a cake store? **Kian the fuck are you doing?**

"I'm buying a cake you got a problem with that!" Kian snapped. Dose this seem out of character to anyone? no ok.

"Why would he go into the cake store?" Plutia asked.

"Maybe him and histy are planning a surprise party about how well were doing!" Neptune said excitedly before following kian.

"Hello, sir how may i help you?" the woman behind the desk asked.

"One chocolate cake please." kian asked and waited for a few minutes and while he was waiting he looked straight at Neptune and Plutia for a second then looked elsewhere then looked at a very attractive woman.

"I'm glad we didn't get caught but is he really looking at that chick over there." Neptune said slightly pissed.

"I can punish him later if you want." Plutia said with an eerie smile as kian took his cake and left with Neptune and Plutia following his lead, wait shouldn't he have sensed them by now? Author he should've sensed them by now right? **You try sensing something when i disable your sensing ability.** Ok so that answers that.

"Wait why are there two authors?" Well Neptune I'm the author the original author hired to deal with kian while O.A visits the fourth wall in hospital after it's little episode a few years ago when kian kept breaking the 4th wall.

"Well that **makes** sense." Plutia said and Neptune had the nep-face trying to comprehend the situation.

"Hey he's going to the park!" Plutia said as kian walked into centre park and the two followed until kian sat down on a bench and pulled out a candle.

"Neppy i don't think that cake was for us." Plutia said as kian hummed happy birthday to me.

"It's his b-day...but why did he go out by himself?" Neptune asked as kian cut his cake and ate it.

"Hey maybe we should throw him a surprise party!" Plutia said excitedly almost blowing their cover and the two of them ran back to the bassilicom before picking up kian's katanas and another chocolate cake.

"What are you two doing?" Historie asked as Neptune grabbed some white icing and opened the cake box.

"We sorta followed kian and he made a lot of stops to different stores and eventually he stopped at the park and there we found out it is his birthday so we grabbed his custom katanas and a cake so we could throw a little surprise party for him!" Neptune said and histoire had a concerned look on her face.

"You both realise that was border line stalking correct?" Neptune once again made the nep face.

 **Back to the main character...**

As i finished up my cake i got a call from noire i wonder why?

"Yo you've reached kian resnove please leave a message." I said and heard a sigh from the other end.

"First i know your voice mail message. Second there wasn't a beep." She said and i laughed a little.

"Yeah i figured i should've made a beep sound, so why did you call?" I asked and a sadistic aura was coming from the end of the line.

"Well it is the sixth of august right?" Alright i need to find i different thing for iris heart.

"It is and what's so special about it?" i think i told Plutia a few years ago about this day.

"Plutia told me that today's your birthday." Dam it!

"Is it?" I asked pretending to forget.

"Kian don't play stupid! By the way is anyone with you?" Plutia said and i looked around.

"Oh yeah I'm with my uh girlfriend?" Noire burst out laughing.

"Ok i might have needed to think that one through a little bit more." I said laughing a little

"So why are you by yourself." Plutia asked.

"Well i just wondered around planetpatune and got hungry so i bought-" Plutia cut me off

"A chocolate cake for yourself am i right?" dam it why dose she know me so well again? oh yeah best friend.

"So is that all or did purple destroy the shirai ryu?" I joked only to be answered by silence.

"Why didn't you all kill her a long time ago?" i asked and hung up. After a little mourning i walked to the weapons store only to find that my weapons were picked up by a pair of girls but I'm to tired to figure out who so i walked back to the bassilicom.

"Hey I'm back." I said opening the door and turning on the light. Neptune and Plutia jumped out from behind the couch scaring the crap out of me!

"Surprise!" They both yelled and i was not sure weather i was confused or happy.

"How did you both figure out today was my b-day?" I asked and Neptune scratched the back of her head when histoire came out.

"They both stalked you until they figured out that it was your birthday." She said clearing up my questions as i saw two trench coats.

"So you two were the guys in trench coats who followed me to the cake store." i said with a smile.

"And the park!" Plutia said.

"Wait you followed me to the park?" i asked and they both nodded.

"Well i smell chocolate so what is it?" I asked when i looked to the table to see a cake which said "Happy birthday kian" along with something wrapped up if I'm honest i teared up a little.

"I take it you two stole my katanas as well?" I said reverting back to asshole and they both gasped.

"We didn't steal them!" Plutia argued

"Yeah we just picked them up for you!" Neptune said and i laughed.

"Alright lets cut this cake already." I said using my new katanas to cut the cake and we all assed out during a round of smash. i won in the end.

 **the reason i writhing this chapter is because my b-day is coming and i wanted to do this kinda chapter for a bit so for now I'm koreilly and i hope to see y'all in the next chapter bye!**


	7. FINISH HER!

"Soooo...my morning didn't go well." **Well since i just got back mind explaining.**

"Sure. Well i woke up and for some reason Neptune and Plutia were in my bed." **Swigity swooty comin' for that booty.**

"Oh shut the fuck up. Anyway since the two of them were clinging onto me i couldn't move so when histoire and noire walk in and almost kill me! I go for a walk." **well that explains why your surrounded by corpses with lin kuei uniforms...wait, WHEN THE FUCK DID THE LIN KUEI GET HERE!  
** "Calm the hell down! It just means some bastard here has picked up the sub-zero mask and plans to rage war upon us so its no big deal." **Ok then which nation are they from?**

"Are ye daft! Its obvious its lowee!" **the clan of ice ninjas and the nation of ice... imma leave this one to you.**

"Yeah thanks asshole." I say as noire and Neptune come out of the bushes.

"You have a lot of explaining to do." Noire said with an evil grin.

"Look do you wanna have a bad time." I say with my eye catching fire.

"Bring it!" Noire says going blackheart

 _ **ROUND 1, FIGHT! (Play megalovania)**_

she charges at me and i just teleport out of the way and throw a fire ball just to irritate her.

"Come on blackheart, i thought that you were "The best cpu in the history of game industry"." I said pissing her off even more.

"Do you want me to get Plutia?" She asked.

"Oh you mean iris heart, I've handled worse." I say teleporting as she slashed again.

"You say that like you know her." She said.

"I'm sure the sadistic bastard *looks up* I have to deal with is worse than Plutia." **When your right your right.** I was then struck by lightning, twice.

"See." I said ducking before i felt an urge to preform an x-ray, i then proceeded to preform scorpions x-ray from Mk X

"How am i not dead?" noire asked pushing herself up.

"My guess magic." I said walking away hearing a familiar voice.

 **Round 2, FIGHT!**

"Lace ribbon dance!" She yells mainly attacking my ribs so this is her x-ray huh? ow. But thanks combo breaker!...no? Oh right x ray fuck.

"Ouch berries!" I looked to the sky "You lied to me." **Wait.. caboose from red v blue right?**

"Yep" i muttered as i slashed back at noire knocking her up-wait I-I didn't mean it like that! **Swigity swooty comin' for that booty.** Again shut. up.

"How are you this powerful?" Noire asked as i blocked her blade with my arm.

"Hell if i know." I say kicking her backwards then grinning.

" **Come** **'ere** " i say throwing my spike whip at her, it hit bringing her closer and i upper cut her so when she hit the floor a voice yelled in the back of my head.

 **"FINISH HER!"** Ha nice try. i walked up to the stumbling noire and flicked her forehead making her fall down and with that battle ceased.

"Wow you beat her and she has the most shares in gameindustry and you beat her easily...how?" Neptune said staring at noire.

"She dose, huh whelp I'm going to the bar." I said walking to planetpatune.

"Okay see ya!" nep said and she dragged noire to the bassilicom.

 **A few hours later...**

As i stumbled my drunken ass into the bassilicom Neptune, Plutia and sarah were talking...wait.

"Sarah? The hell are you doing here?" Why aren't i stuttering you ask? Well healing factor ftw

"Oh hey kian me and scorpion were looking for you." She said and i scratched the back of my head.

"Oh I thought it was my day off." I said and Plutia walked up to us.

"I hate to break this up but were going to lastation." Plutia said grabbing my arm!?

"Yeah you can tag along if you want!" DA FAQ!? Neptune grabbed my arm as well I'm starting to regret drinking this much I'm hallucinating.

"Sure ill come scorpion probably wants time to himself plus I wanted to see lastation." Sarah said leaning into my ear. "Swigity swooty comin' for that booty." I am going to finish her.

"Alright but first both of you let go of my arms!" I yelled _( **Alert! Alert! Dense anime protagonist I Repeat dense anime protagonist alert!)**_ Brackets the one thing i cant hear what the dam author says!

"Nope!" Neptune said popping the p.

"alright" I said teleporting and slightly burning them..."oops" I said with a smirk walking out the door.

"Aww." Seriously since when are these two so thirsty i mean Plutia i get but Neptune not so much. **Wait you could tell they were out for your ass?** yeah why? **No reason...** what did you say in the brackets? **Nothing.**

"Hey nice job there boss ya burnt their clothes." I then had some perverted thoughts that led to something that happens to men when they think of boobs.

"Well they may take another hour to get changed, wanna grab a drink?" she looked at me in shock.

"Didn't you just come back rom the bar?" she asked and i shrugged.

"Eh cant be to drunk now can you?" I said walking off.

"Hey wait up!" Sarah said while running to catch up.

 **TA DA so kian aint a dense protag after all...huh well there goes half my plans for this story but the other half are still in play.**

 **" _What about this safe labled only use in case of writers block or iris heart gets out of the prison?"_**

 **Because my dear scorpion i don't have writers block and last i checked iris heart is still under control**

"Are you sure about that?"

 **SAVE YOURSELF!**


	8. trouble in lastation

"So were visiting lonely heart?" I asked as we left for lastation.

"Yeah histy thought that she can make me and Plutie better cpu's." Neptune explained

"I thought i told her if she lets me and a few shirai ryu members torture you we wouldn't have this problem." I said out loud getting looks from Neptune and Plutia.

"What?" I asked and iris heart made an appearance.

"I thought the author had you locked up!" I yelled as the uniform made an appearance as well.

"I was a bit to much for him to handle~" She said seductively.

"Well as much as i like to fight." I paused throwing the blunt end of my blade at her temple, knocking the beast out.

"Well Neptune your gonna have to carry her." I said as Plutia hit the ground.

"What why me?" To make ice age reference or not?

"Because it would make me look like her boyfriend and i would have to beat the crap out of noire...again." i said and she muttered something before hoisting Plutia onto her back.

 **At the bassilicom of lonely heart...**

"About time you came to visit." Said noire as we walked into her office just like alpha noire she works like there's no tomorrow.

"Histoire thought you could whip these two into shape." I said twirling one of my spear heads on my finger.

"Ok first why are you here then and second how are you able to do that?" She asked and i continued to twirl the head.

"I was dragged here by those two and i can twirl like this because i got bored one evening and started twirling these things and i could just to it." i answered.

"Ok so unless you want to learn how to be a cpu for the next few hours get out." She said and i grinned.

"Ok see ya later." I said walking in lowee's direction.

"Master would you have any idea where they might be hiding?" _**No maybe you should ask blanc?**_ "Well said." i then walked to the bassilicom.

"And who are you?" THE PIG!

"Uh my names kian I was wondering have you had any contact with men in blue uniforms calling themselves the lin kuei?" He gave me a strange look before answering

"Yes i have." He smiled before the world went black.

"He is shirai ryu." I was awake but i didn't open my eyes.

"And how would you know?" A gay sounding voice asked.

"Our informant is a very reliable source." The first voice answered. _**Your enjoying this aren't you?**_ Maybe so? I then became scorpion and my eyes snapped open before teleporting out of the chair i was tied to.

 _" **That was extremely entertaining, but your time has not yet come young sub-zero."** _ He reeled back in shock when i said his name.

"How do you know my name?!" I just smirked before clicking my fingers and teleporting back to lastation and de-transforming as Plutia, Neptune and noire exited the bassilicom in a hurry at that.

"Perfect timing, one of my factories are under attack!" Noire said and i nodded holding out my hand.

"I thought i heard explosions. grab on i know a short cut." They hesitantly grabbed my arm as we teleported to the factory.

"How did you?" Noire asked in confusion and i did the jazz hands.

"Magic." i said as we heard a loud crash.

"AHAHAHAHAHA! Destroy everything!" Someone i can relate to?!

"Hey keep it down would ya, chu!" The rat.

"Okay I'm bored!" I said jumping down and getting a look from the giant robot.

"Who are you do you want to stop my destruction?" He asked.

"If this were a loween factory i would join in but since this factory belongs to a friend of mine i am gonna kill _both_ of you." I said looking at the rat.

"Ha kill me the mighty copypaste?!" Oh i cant wait to stick my sword down this loud mouthed cunts throat.

"Yeah I'm gonna kill you!" I yelled going shirai ryu.

 _ **ROUND 1, FIGHT!**_

He charged at me trying to grab me and when he was about to close his giant hands around me i teleported.

"Ha all talk no bite!" He said closing his hand.

"Surprise motherfucka." I said throwing a fireball at the back of his head.

"Oh a trick no matter i will crush you like a bug and resume my rampage!" He said as i sighed and threw a whip at his chest pulling off a panel.

"Ok lets go." I said teleporting behind his head and kicking it teleported to his face and punching the hell out of it then teleported to his tracks pulling a deathmachine out of nowhere and shooting the hell out of them until he fell over.

"This is the end of you!" I said pointing a finger before my hand lit on fire and i hit my chest while he threw a temper tantrum.

 _ **ROUND 2, FIGHT!**_

"Now to end this." I muttered before running at the colossal pain in my ass with my new katanas. **"EXE: SHIRAI RYU FLAMING CUTTER!"** I said slashing with flame engulfed blades knocking off some panels and immobilising him. After i walked away i prepared for my x-ray but i put a bit more effort into it since he was a bigger target and when i kicked his jaw i think i broke my leg. but when the gabby bastard hit the floor he was staggering.

 **FINISH HIM!**

I did what i was told but since i probably cant make a fire ball big enough for this hunk of junk so i used a different move. i threw a whip at his head then pulled hard enough to rip the head from the body but it came flying at me so i bent out of the way and threw my katana where the head would hit and the blade connected and the jaw dropped.

 **Kian wins**

 ** _fatality!_**

Then the cpu's in HDD came out wait why didn't they help me?!

"That was quite the fight." Purpleheart said as she looked at his body which was currently in a large pool of oil.

"You would make a very exciting victim~" Iris heart said but much to everyone's surprise i just gave a look that said try me.

"You know with those skills you could join the lastation guard and you could be one of the best." Blackheart said and i shook my head.

"I'm going with no because there's only so much Tsundere i can handle, later!" I teleported away before noire could say another word.

 **Did he just...call noire a tsun?  
 _He did._**

 **That takes balls and last i checked they got stabbed.**

 ** _they did._**

 **ok so leave a review if you want not that i care or anything!**

 ** _I thought noire was the tsundere here?_**

 **She is i just wanted to try it out.**


	9. a little blonde trouble

**I have realised i didn't get the timeline right, i forgot the moment with abnes so I'm going to make it up.**

"Ahhh now that I'm alive what to do?" i said to no one in particular as i teleported to the planetpatune bassilicom.

"Oh kian what are you doing here?" histoire asked while holding a small cup of coffee looked kinda cute if you ask me but i digress.

"I just came back after killing a boss with little to no challenge, so how was your day off from yelling at nep and Plutia for slacking off." I asked pouring myself a cup of coffee.

"Well i managed to get some sleep before finishing my paper work then i got myself a cup of coffee." She said.

"Sounds like you enjoyed yourself, oh and the boss was one of the seven sages so one sown six to go." i said as Neptune, Plutia and noire came in the door.

"Wow that was fast what did you do fly?" I asked and noire looked like she wanted to kill me.

"Oh look who it is?! What do you mean I'm a tsundere?!" Noire yelled.

"Do you want to end up like copypaste?" asked with a grin sending chills down noire's back when some little girl kicked down the door.

"GA-THUNK! I'm here to see the cpu. Ah there you are!" I really want to finish her.

"Whoa whos this little girl?" Neptune asked.

"What do you mean little girl? Your a little girl!" Wow great come back i just slow clapped.

"What the hell are you clapping for?!" My eye lit on fire and my voice became similar to scorpions.

"Well when some bitch runs in and starts harassing my friends i get a little bit annoyed meaning i would string them up by the guts and watch people walk past looking in disgust at my handiwork." I said with a dark aura and abnes booked it.

"Wow that was easier than i thought" i said and everyone except Plutia was hiding behind a couch

"What? I don't kill friends...anymore." I said trying to scare them and boy did i scare them but Plutia didn't even flinch dam it.

"Man this is awkward...anyway I'm going out." i said teleporting to the bottom of the stairs which the staff had gotten used to by now.

"What did you do?" One of them asked and i shrugged.

"Just needed some fresh air." i said as i pushed open the door.

As i continued to walk down the street at this ungodly hour known as 8:30 i bumped into a familiar face. "Steve." i said and he nodded while replying. "Kian." A few seconds passed before both of us stopped in our tracks.

"Steve?"  
"Kian?"

"STEVE!" i said angrily.  
"KIAN!"" he did the same

"...Steve?"

"Kian...?"

Steve!" I said happily holding my arms out for a hug.

"Kian!" He did the same and we hugged for a few seconds before backing up.

"How've you been man its been forever!" He asked

"All's good man just became the leader of the shirai ryu!" I said excitedly.

"Really?! I just took over the lin kuei and some guy killed my best men so now I'm here to kill him!" Steve said and we stayed silent for a second before we both got into a battle stance.

"So your the scorpion imposter running around, old pal." He said as fire swirled up around me.

" _ **And your the young sub-zero, Not to my surprise either."**_ I said as steven was in cased in ice and when it shattered sub-zero was standing before me.

" _So old pal lets make this more interesting."_ He said probably smirking behind his mask. " _The winner decides the losers faith deal?"_ He asked and i nodded

 **Round one, FIGHT!**

We ran at each other blocking blow for blow until i jumped up and threw my whips and they stuck into his arms and by the time he as in the air i was on the ground so i dragged him down with me. He shot up and froze me until an uppercut sent me back a little so i teleported behind him and attempted to cut him with my katanas but he caught my blade and pushed me back with another punch, he's playing on defensive.

" _ **We both know your holding back.**_ " i said damaging his pride

" _As are you pal."_ he said and i activated my flame aura.

" _ **So I'm going to finish this round now."**_ i said rushing at him so he'd attack but i then went for my x-ray which caught him completely off guard.

" _ **This is the end of you!"**_ I had to say it.

 **Round two, FIGHT!**

He rushed at me repeating my tactic or so it seemed until he made one of those fucking ice dummy's that i hate- no loath entirely! And while i was frozen he did his x ray knocking me down to half health and as i hit the floor my eye caught fire but every second or two they flash black before returning to normal white but by then i had gotten him to get over here and preformed an extremely powerful uppercut and now I'm charging a fire-ball for when he hits the ground and he did but those mother fucking ice cones got in my way seriously he should be fucking nerfed and have those taken away! i thought as i was frozen yet again! And then hit onto the ground.

 **Final round, FIGHT!**

I charged at him and hit him with my katanas a few times before he punched me in the gut sending me back a few feet before i back flipped and teleported behind him and to smite him i kicked him between the legs an punishment knocking him out...WAIT WHAT!?

 **FINISH HIM!**

I walked up to him and punched him across the face dislocating his jaw.

" _ **Ah that's what I've been waiting for!"**_ I said walking up to sub-zero and holding out my hand.

"Y-you didn't finish me?" Steve asked as he de-transformed and took my hand.

 ** _"I do not wish to finish you but instead i wish for peace between both clans."_** I said deforming and much to my surprise.

"YOUR SCORPION!" MY FUCKING EARS!

"First off yes peace would be much appreciated second i see you've made friends with the cpu's good for you, and last but not least, why aren't we running from." He nods his head towards Neptune and i shake my head.

"Not in this dimension." He seemed to take into consideration that I'm not running as fast as sanic away from Neptune so he assumes its ok meanwhile I'm bombarded with questions which I'm currently blocking out because I'm part deaf at the moment.

"Ok first off, ow my ears. second this is an old friend of mine who is the leader of a rival clan. third i just made peace with said clan and last but not least Neptune let go of my arm or I'll never EVER buy you a single cup of pudding again!" i said that but she gave me the puppy dog eyes...what all men have a weakness and mine just so happens to be cute girls who wont kill me doing puppy dog eye's. DONT FUCKING JUDGE ME!

 **So before kian breaks the fourth wall so much he's able to jump through my computer screen and kills everyone on earth (yes he would do that) I'm going to end it here so i hoped you enjoyed and leave a review their always appreciated and i hope to see you in the next chapter bye!  
**


	10. I FUCKED UP THE TIMELINE AGAIN

**BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!**

 **"** ** _Author...what are you doing?"_**

 **Hitting my head off the wall.**

 **"Why?"**

 **Because as the name of this chapter implies i fucked up the timeline AGAIN!**

 **3 days later**

"Why do i get the feeling the author has been fucking up and hitting his head off the wall?" I said to myself because finaly blanc made her appearance but she brought her best soldier so noire brought me despite the fact i said no so now I'm standing here beside blackheart and the warrior whiteheart brought was as you guessed steven.

"About time you showed up!" Blanc said when me and steve locked eyes.

"Sup." I said and he shrugged.

"Not much you?" he said while white heart and blackheart argued while nep and Plutia hid behind a bush.

"So are we gonna fight or is author gonna do something to make up for the fact he fucked up?" I shrugged

"Don't know." I said as whiteheart finaly noticed the planetpatune cpus.

"Hey who are those idiots hiding behind that bush?" Blanc asked.

"Those are planetpatune's cpu's." I said shaking my head.

"So your the lastation warrior huh?" I shook my head again.

"Nope i was brought here against my will and rights." i said and noire gave me the death glare while i flipped the bird.

"So your not the best warrior?" blanc asked.

"Oh no i could kick stevey boys ass easily and i have proved it more than once i just don't work miss blackheart *Cough* the tsundere *cough*." another death glare that i shrugged off.

"he has i hate to admit it." Steven said.

"Ok is this an engagement to war or a tea party?" Noire asked and i shrugged

"Could be both, i mean I'm no expert-" "liar!" Steven cut me off and i threw a spiked whip just beside his head. "As i was saying. I'm no expert but I'm almost sure that war have been started on much more peaceful terms, for example i once knew a man who started a war by simply saying fuck you and your shitty clan." I said and steven stared at me.

"And who was this man might i ask?" Noire was turning on me?!

"His name was Naik, truly a great man." What!? I had to use improvisation.

"That names sounds oddly familiar." Steven said.

"Any way we should continue this on better terms so you can go home now." I said knocking noire out before she could object sorry noire fans i had to cover authors fuck up i hope you understand.

"uhh sure until next time?" wait she was really leaving?!

"Whoa you disarmed a war in a few sentences!? Your good!" Neptune said and i took a small bow

"Kian resnove, assassin, thief, diplomatic debater and moral support at your service." Plutia and Neptune clapped and as if to end my fun noire woke up.

"uhh what happened?" She asked and just as i was about to hold a finger up to my lips Plutia and Neptune spilled the whole story in a matter of seconds i then got an all so familiar death glare man she is getting good at those.

"You knocked me OUT!" Should i do it again?

"Look i wasn't in the mood to kill half of lowee just so you can get an ego boost off killing a cpu...heh guess i should've guessed i mean you being you all you wanted was power didn't you? Go on tell me I'm wrong, try to lie because i can see right through your shit noire." my sudden serious attitude scared everyone hell it even scared me. What the fucks happening to me author!? **I-I don't know i didn't plan on you being serious.**

"Wow talk about a mood swing you okay buddy." Neptune asked and I'm not gonna make her worry-WHY THE FUCK DO I CARE!?

"Uh yeah just a-i don't know phase of some sort?" why author why are you doing this to me? **Remember what i said about letting things play out this is one of those times.**

"Lets just head back to planetpatune I'm beat." i said with a smile. but everyone looked concerned as i faded away.

 **3rd person...**

"So has he...done that before or?" noire asked and the other cpus shook their heads

"It was really scary." Plutia said shuddering a little.

"I'm sure he was just tired like he said, now lets go get some tasty lastation pudding!" Neptune said trying to lighten the mood.

"Are you even a little concerned by your friends sudden personality shift!?" Noire asked a little pissed off at Neptune's carelessness.

"Neppy you should be more worried about your friends not pudding." Plutia said and Neptune stepped back.

"Guys he said he's just tired so he's off at the bassilicom catching some z's so he's gonna be fine." Neptune said despite the fact she didn't fully believe those words herself.

 **Back to kian...**

I clutched my head in pain as a voice echoed through my head repeating _**"KIAN YOU MUST KILL THEM ALL! KILL NOIRE! KILL BLANC! KILL VERT! KILL PLUTIA AND THEN KILL NEPTUNE!"**_

"FUCK YOU! GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY FUCKING HEAD I WONT KILL THEM AND YOU CANT GET ME TO KILL THEM!" i yelled to no one but i was found by a witch.

"Well well well look what the cat dragged in." great just what i wanted _**a fight!**_

"hey Arfoire i don't want to kill you right now so go fuck yourself!" I said fire building up around my legs only instead of my usual orange mist it was black.

"You kill me HA I'd like to see that happen." Oh you cocky bitch! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HEAD! I pleaded but the fire was at my neck and soon engulfed my head leaving me a black fire ball.

"Nice trick but you don't scare me." I looked at her as i slowly inched towards her and she tried to stab me but it faded straight through me and she stopped after the third one she stopped and looked at me like a rabbit in the head lights.

"Who-what are you?" I laughed

 _ **"IM JUST YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE!"**_ I lost control he or it was beating the hell out of Arfoire and i watched it made her bleed it almost killed her after ten minutes! But when he was about to deal the final blow scorpion took the reins and promptly handed them back to me.

"I'm...I'm...going to the bassilicom...yeah." i said walking like a zombie to the bassilicom.

"Hey I'm back." i said walking in the living room but not to my surprise no one was there except for a sleeping oracle so i put her in her room and quietly closed the door.

"Master keep that thing under control in future." I said.

" _ **I'm sorry i...i don't know how she got out."**_

"Wait she? Scorpion if you cant keep what ever that was under control I'm going to seal us away in the cave forever or until we exercise the demon."

" ** _i...i will do my best so it doesn't_** ** _come to that."_**

"Better fucking not I'm just starting to like it here!" I joked getting ready for bed.

 **Okay scorpion i know i said i wanted to let this play out but i at least wanted some form of control in this madhouse known as life.**

 ** _I don't have control over her._**

 **Who's her?**

 ** _I don't fucking know._**

 **Wait you curse?**

 ** _Story for another day._ **


	11. thunder tits appeared

"Kian? Where's Neptune and Plutia?" histoire asked.

"Still in bed so what's the agenda today?" histoire looked mad but when i asked the second part she looked curiously at me.

"Don't you have a clan to look after?" Well sarah has been recruiting a lot of people and she keeps telling me to hang around the cpu's more often no matter what i tell her she always gets her way...i believe I've become a pushover.

"Sarah has been telling me to hang around those two more and even has the new guys keeping me out so i have no choice." Historie nodded

"Perhaps you should keep her on a tighter rope?" i shook my head.

"She is proving to be a commendable leader she has a few flaws like not being to control everyone whom disobeys and calls me but that cant be helped." i say

"What do you do?" Man dose she always ask this many questions.

"I whip them back into shape, no pun intended." She looked deep in thought before realising what i mean.

"So you wanna wake them up or will I?" she looked shocked

"If its not to much trouble." i opened the door and walked over to the sleeping girls.

"Oh whats that...pudding is no longer manufactured?" No sooner did the words leave my mouth did Neptune jump out of bed and threw the sheets off the bed, good thing she's wearing pj's or else this would be really awkward.

"Did you just say they stopped making pudding?!" i was almost pissed my self with laughter.

"Yes but it was just to get you and Plutia awake!" I said after i stopped laughing wait is that the troll song i hear?

"Neppy why are you out of bed." Plutia asked her friend and luckily she's wearing pj's too.

" ** _Or is it unfortunate they are?"_** Master you aren't a pervert so don't start.

"Anyway get dressed histoire wants you two up and doing quests." i said closing the door

"Welp I'm off." I said teleporting to the guild and taking al the S class quests.

"Uhh sir are you sure you want those quests they are the hardest available.

"That's why i want them." She stamped the paper and i left.

"Ok first quest kill a giant dogoo and two ancient dragons perfect." I teleported to the dungeon.

 ** _A few hours of killing later..._**

As i walked into the bassilicom since i used all my teleportation for the day i saw Neptune and histoire shaking at the door.

"What are you two doing out here?" Histoire looked at Neptune and motioned her to tell me whats happening.

"Noire came in complaining about lowee taking her shares and she didn't listen to our warnings and now Plutia is doing some R-18 stuff that I'm sure the author doesnt want to write. **at least it wasn't thief.**

"So how long has it been?" I asked ignoring the authors comment.

"About an hour maybe two." Histoire said and i shrugged.

"That all? I've tortured people for three hours straight at least." I said as the door opened revealing noire with lifeless eyes...i began clapping and got a look from both Neptune and histoire.

"What it usually takes me four hours to get them like this." I said as Plutia came out of the room.

"Good news were going to lowee!" Plutia said and noier said something along the lines of "Must go to lowee to voice complaints." i clapped again.

"Plutia you must teach me your ways." Everyone who wasn't under a spell looked at me and Plutia just smiled.

"Sure." She said happily as noire snapped out of it.

"And while were at it I'll teach you how to give it a long term effect." And everyone gulped out of fear.

"so lets go to lowee!" I said and thus began the long walk so AUTHOR CUE THE MAGICAL TIME SKIP! **Aren't you luck Plutia knows how to get in here Timeskip 2 hours later**

"Why *pant* didn't you just teleport?" Neptune asked as the sleeping Plutia on my back went back to sleep after a short conversation about _methods_

"Because i used my set amount of teleports today trying to keep your shares up while you probably went back to sleep after learning pudding is still being produced." She looked at me like i had just hit her.

"My pride has been wounded! I didn't want to go back to bed it just looked so inviting it possessed me and i found myself in bed again." I sighed

"I'm a bad at liar but your on a whole other level of bad." I said when noire dragged us behind a rock, waking Plutia.

"Hey why did you move so fast?" I shrugged

"Noire dragged us here." I said and noire shushed us.

"Keep it down boarder control!" She whispered.

"All children look away now." I said and everyone looked away and i swiftly flicked mu wrist and a spike stuck through his arm before he could scream in pain i ran up to him, hit him in the gut and at the back of the head before placing him in a bush healing his arm.

"Huh coast is clear." I said and the girls walked out of the cave.

"So lets get going." Plutia jumped onto my back again.

"Your so warm~" i doubt that's the only reason but i don't care.

"H-Hey no f-fair." Neptune complained.

"Sigh. here have this, should keep you warm." I threw a purple fluffy coat at her which she caught.

"Where did you get this." I shrugged

"I'm a thief what do you think." Old habits die hard.

"Oh well thanks." She smiled before i threw a black coat similar to Neptune's at noire.

"Don't think i didn't see you shivering there noire." She pouted in the tsundere fashion

"I wasn't shivering!" There is a distinct smell of bullshit in the air.

"Yeah what ever." I said before i felt a disturbance in the force. "thunder tits." Thankfully Plutia was asleep so she didn't hear what i muttered oh why do i use blanc's nickname for vert? I always hated her from her stuck up attitude to her believing tits are everything i just want to cut them off to see her reaction but noire and blanc stopped me every time.

"So here we are, lowee." I said and Plutia finaly got down and i gave her an iris coat.

"How many of those do you have?" Noire asked

"As many as i need." I said when i bumped into some one.

"Oh my I'm so sorry i didn't see you there!" THUNDER TITS!

"Uhh no its my fault." i said choosing my words carefully.

"Oh hey vert!" Neptune said much to vert's surprise.

"Goodness how do you know my name!?" Neptune looked confused before realising.

"Oh right we haven't met in this dimension yet." Nice save.

"Oh neppy you know this lady." Plutia asked

"Yep this is vert CP-ow hey!" Vert dragged Neptune off to the side.

"What was that about, hey kian? You looked ticked off." Oh no my hatred is showing.

"Uh nothing just had a bad feeling that's all." I said as vert and Neptune joined the group.

"Ok lets go to the bassilicom!" Neptune declared and everyone started walking but me and vert wee at the back of the group.

"Try anything funny green heart and I'll kill you, got it?" she looked shocked that i had discovered her identity.

"How?" I grinned.

"We men have our secrets as well." i said walking to the group as she tailed behind.

"So this is it huh? Lets do this!" Neptune said.

"Yeah." Plutia

"Finaly." Noire

"Why yes." Thunder tits.

"Lets go." Generic villain seventy four.

"Lets get this over with." me.

"Wait that was two more yes's than there should be!" Neptune pointed out and i turned to see generic villain seventy four was actually steven.

"So vert and stevey came to yay!" Plutia said.

"I hope you don't mind us intruding." Vert said.

"Wait steve aren't you with blanc?" i said and he shrugged

"Never said i was fighting did I?" he has his moments.

"So you finaly came." Innuendo much but whiteheart was sitting on a throne of some sorts.

"First off we only came to talk." I said but noire shook her head.

"I'm here to voice my complaints but since your transformed might as well give you a fight." Oh for fuck sake.

"Hey noire are you sure that's a good idea?" Wait Neptune a voice of reason? What is the world coming to!? and after a fancy light show blackheart stood.

"Yes I'm sure Plutia transform." WARNING! WARNING! CRAZED DICTATOR ALERT!

"Okay~" Were doomed as Sadie herself stood there and steven appeared beside blanc as sub

"Are we the only sane ones here?" I asked Neptune who shrugged.

"Unless you two want to be iris hearts next play mates I'd hurry up and transform!" flipping noire the bird and transforming is very enjoyable.

" _ **Well ever since a certain tsundere sold me to iris heart i could be her next playmate at any fucking time, which makes me think should i help white heart or fight with you guys!"**_ i said and everyone gasped

"You wouldn't dare." Noire said as i started walking to the centre of the room until i spotted mr bacon then turned around and walked away.

"See i told you!" I shook my head.

 _ **"I spotted a fat bastard who tried to demolish my temple for a few years."**_ i said and a whit headed fatso stepped into view.

"I'm not fat I'm just chubby!" he yelled

 ** _"Hate to tell ya fatso but that's the fucking definition of fat!"_ ** i said as the door was kicked down.

 ** _"One reason why i shouldn't string your guts up right now little girl!"_ ** she almost booked it when she heard my voice.

"Hey folks it's your favourite idol abnes and here we are today with white heart and the other cpu about to battle it out as well as lowee's greatest warrior sub-zero about to face off against planetpatune's scorpion!" Me and sub held up our middle fingers towards the camera.

 ** _"Yeah we ain't fighting for your entertainment ya little bitch!"_** i said and abnes reeled back in shock.

 ** _"_** Our clans made peace fighting now would make it seem as if though no such thing existed in the first place." sub said as the cpu's bet blanc and noire was about to deal the final blow but a whip rapped around her sword but it was iris hearts i mean i was about to but i didn't expect Plutie to do that maybe iris has a heart after all.

"My...shares." Blanc said reverting to human form and the bacon stepped out of hiding laughing like a maniac.

"I knew this was going to happen i knew it! GAURDS!" he said and gaurds flooded the room and surrounded us.

"I don't think we can fight them all!" Neptune said.

"You cant." Steven started. " _ **But we can!"**_ I finished while sending a spike through a guards head. another platoon charged at us and we both summoned our swords and began a killing spree until i fell to my knees clutching my head for a few seconds before standing up again with black flames in my eyes and as more charged at me i cut through them like they were paper but their sheer numbers were overwhelming us until we were both hit on the head and knocked out.


	12. fat man down

**ok three chapters in a week...i have run out of ideas for intro skits.**

"Maybe i could help~" **OUTTA THIS HOUSE! OUTTA THIS HOUSE!**

"Uhhh why do i feel like i have been hit by a few tucks?" I said keeping my eyes closed.

"About time you woke up!" When did i get a tsundere alarm clock?

"Yeah yeah I'm up." I said waking up to a prison cell.

"Steve? Why am i in a cell with noire?" I said sensing his aura through the wall.

"Well they were out of room in our cell so they put you and her in a separate cell." ok that explains that.

"Don't those dipshits know we can teleport?" I heard a transformation.

"Good luck soldier!" I said feeling the sadistic aura.

"If i don't survive this just know i always hated you!" He yelled and i heard crying.

"Did you break down already?" I laughed.

"No that's blanc iris heart said kind things then immediately changed to iris." That explained.

"Stevey are you talking to my pet?" Aww hell no!

"Steven say anything and a fatality will come your way." I threatened

"Sorry man, yes." Toasty!

"Kian~ Is noire in there with you." noire shook her head.

"Yeah why?" I'm going to die later but last time she tried iris stopped her so lets hope!

"Were making friends with blanny and i wanted to know if you two wanted to be friends too?" I don't mind blanc.

"Yeah why not." Noire complaints of the day starting in 3...2...1

"Ha me friends with that failure of a cpu! Don't get me started!" _Want me to deal with her?_ Hey v its been a while what have been at? _The usual_ Ok and to answer your question yes.

"Noire say yes or. else." I said as a mild pain started forming in my skull.

"And what are you gonna do?" I clutched my head before falling to my knees and pounding my head off the floor.

"Kian? Are you ok?" She asked as black fire engulfed me for a second or two before they faded leaving me hunched over but my appearance changed instead of my usual trench coat i was in a black tank top showing a very ripped body and black track suit bottoms.

"K-kian?" Noire said as i stood up and my new jet black hair stood up.

"Yes?" My voice changed as well now its more mature.

"What was that?" I waved my hand before walking to the door.

"If i cant get through that you have no-"I kicked the door off the hinges before walking down the hall and ripping the door off the others door before meeting thunder tits ( **He will be referring to her as this for a while** ) And her eyes sparkled but before her mouth could even open. "Can it thunder tits." Was all i said while walking to the dungeon that lied a head.

"Whats gotten into him?" Blanc asked and steven shuddered.

"Vengeance is a _very_ powerful feeling and one of his most frequent." Steven said walking in front of the girls as they watched kian slice through even the most powerful of mobs in the cave.

"And whats with his vulgar nickname for me?" I smirked as i tore through an ancient dragon.

"He calls everyone with overly large boobs that." Steven said as i saw light.

"Look i haven't been the most talkative here but can i deal with mr bacon?" I asked and i swear i heard vert mutter.

"All is forgiven." What?

"Why?" Noire asked.

"Because i will end up becoming a permanent iris heart if i don't realise all this bent up anger." I said and everyone other that thunder and Plutia shuddered before nodding as we approached light.

"Ok did we die down there or is that sunlight?" I asked.

"Well you've died before is this what happens?" Steven asked.

"No it usually says, "Our faith rests in your hands. Kian, stay determined" or something like that." Steven facepalmed while everyone looked in confusion.

"So how's my hair?" Do i want my ham fried or extra crispy?

"Your mop's fine old man, chu!" Rat on a stick sounds really good now.

"Hey found them!" I quietly yelled and everyone came running.

"I need to look good for my big debut!" He said and i kicked the door down.

"Oh I'm gonna have some fun with you, pig." I yelled and he scowled

"Rat cut-" "Cut that tape and your next on the barbeque." I cut the pig off and the rat immediately focused the camera on the fight.

"We should hang back." Steven said from the side lines, how am i hearing this? maaaaagic~

"Why he cant hog all the fun!" Plutia said.

"Oh trust me unlike you he likes a lot of fight in his toys." Steven said speaking from experience.

"Don't worry when I'm done he's all yours!" i yelled back before walking toward him.

"I take it your the reason they're out?" I nodded.

"Kicked my door off and ripped theirs." He looked shocked.

"They were made from lowee's strongest metal!" I looked sceptical.

"Felt like tearing through paper." He looked mad, yes! I feed off anger!

"How dare you mock me that way!" i believe a reference can be made here.

"Oh I'm sorry then what way will i mock you then, i take requests?" Reference made. Kombat mode engaged. A mech suit came out of no where and fit him perfectly.

"I'll crush you and then the CPU'S!" Man, hey is someone in the audience a proctologist? because this guy's head is shoved up his ass!

 **ROUND 1, FIGHT!**

 **(play mortal kombat x rap by jt machinima)**

He ran at me and granted the mech is fast despite the load it's carrying almost caught me off guard but V ain't me. He kicked the leg ot it before punching the arm off.

"I don't mean to brag but your kinda screwed." I said enjoying his efforts

"Oh god." steven said as i kicked the robot in the nuts and bolts.

"Ha i almost felt that!" The fatso said.

"Oh so you want to feel pain?" I said in an iris heart voice.

"How did he do that?" Noire asked.

"Kian finish this round readers are getting bored!" I did as my friend instructed and stabbed the mech in the chest thirty-seven times before cutting off the hands and burning them. Then i ran up to him and tore off the arms leaving him defenceless to an x ray.

"This is the end of you!" ahh so satisfying.

 **ROUND 2, FIGHT!**

Some how the arms grew back and had missile launchers attached to the bottom...ok I'm fucked. As one missile came flying at me i teleported behind him.

"Hey! you said you used up all your teleports today!" Oh shit.

"When i sleep i regenerate them so...yeah." i said before being bitch slapped by a metal hand and leaving a crater in a wall.

"Now that hurt." I said teleporting behind him and slipping a potato into the exhaust pipe which then exploded.

"What was that!" Mr fat asked.

"That piggy was sabotage by potato." I said while he tried to move but ultimately failed.

 **FINISH HIM!**

"Ok!" I clicked my fingers and both iris heart and white heart transformed.

"Huh? i couldn't transform a second ago!" Blanc said before i threw my whips at pig and pulled him out of the mech and much to my plan he landed infront of iris heart and white heart.

"Oh~" Iris heart looked over the excuse of a man with a pleased look on her face.

"Hell yeah!" Blancs eye went red meaning mental torture by cpu is a success.

 **Kian wins, brutality**

 **(I know that if it says finish him its a fatality but this is to brutal to be a fatality)**

"kian do you want to join in?~" Iris asked as my vision blurred.

"Nope not good. Shutting down." i collapsed due to overusing vengeance mode.

 _ **Hey guys that's all for this week and my new update schedule is one story a week so that's all for now k out.**_


	13. Just a filler

"So peace has been made with lowee. Now what?" I asked Neptune and Plutia as we entered the living room.

"Simple we wait until plot convenience comes knocking!" Neptune said flopping onto the couch.

"Yay! A break!" Plutia said flopping down next to Neptune and falling asleep almost instantly.

"Everyone!" Histoire came rushing into the room looking slightly distressed.

"What's wrong?" i asked semi-bored before histoire started vibrating.

"Whoa histy's gonna blow!" Neptune said ducking behind a couch while a blue light emitted out of histoier's...eyes.

"Hello? Can you hear me?" I'm in California dreaming of- sorry got caught up in it.

"Hey that's my histy!" Neptune said poking her head out form the couch.

"Neptune! Its really you! Histoire said With a bright smile on her face.

"Its about time you called its been three years I thought you forgot about me!" This confused the big histoire-wait that's Neptune's histoire, the one i used to work for!

"Neptune its only been three days." Huh a different time flow to Hyperdimension very interesting **Thief when did you acquire a brain?** I don't know.

"Oh histy you remember that scout you had scooping up info for ya?" Histoire looked grim.

"Yes he died in a fight against a hoard of ancient dragon." I laughed

"Do you really think I'd die against those things? C'mon histoire!" My voice made her jump.

"I-It cant be!" I stepped into view, because for some reason the author had me standing against the door.

"So whose the idiot that told you i was dead?" She nodded her head towards Neptune.

"Why am I not surprised." Both me and the histoire's sighed and Neptune looked shocked that we were ganging up on her.

"Either way its good to see both of you again." I sat down on the couch beside Plutia who was still asleep.

"So do you have any sort of plan to get Neptune back?" Big Histoire and little Histoire looked confused.

"Why aren't you returning?" I stood up.

"A matter i would like to discuss outside, please." i walked outside and mini-histy followed.

"Look i was in another dimension before this one and discovered these items called teleport crystals." I said closing the door to the balcony so Neptune or Plutia wouldn't hear.

"No offense but this doesn't exactly explain why you wont return." I sighed recollecting bad memories.

"There were different types of crystals, common crystals which allowed me to teleport between nations, irregular crystals, that teleport between dimensions and brought me here and finaly there are legendary which open a permanent hole between dimensions, or so they say i personally never experienced one."

"Personally I'm more interested in this new dimension." Mini-Histoire said.

"I called it alpha-dimension, it was alright until..." I then explained the whole story of what happened in alpha all the way up till i fell from the sky. "Purple heart eventually got blanc to research the subject and she discovered that there could be more than one in each dimension, I'm staying here until she finds it and when she comes for me. I will kill her for my clan and my b-personal reasons." I picked my words carefully around these two.

"I now see why you didn't want to discuss that in front of Neptune and Plutia." Big histoire said.

"And if possible keep this between us, okay?" i asked and both tomes nodded before big histy disappeared.

"Thank you for discussing this with us it must have been hard for you." mini histoire said.

"I'm just giving you a heads up." I said opening the door for her when i got a call from a tsundere friend of mine.  
"Please tell me its good news." She laughed a little.

"If by good you mean planetpatune's shares are decreasing rapidly good then things couldn't be better." She said excitedly and a smile instantly formed on my face.

"You know how to make a guy happy but the truth would be nice." I replied but there was no sigh, no sad laugh nothing. "Y-your telling the truth!" I said with my mouth hanging open in shock.

"Yep, finally planepatune is on its final legs and fyi lastation is on top!" Good for her

"I would've assumed lowee would be on top." Ahhh get trolled.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" That reaction always makes my day.

"Come on, you really think I thought the shares would go to lowee?" An aggravated sigh followed

"I can't believe I fell for that!" Me either

"Thanks for the update, tell me when she's completely gone." I said hanging up and slipped my phone into my left pocket.

"So how long did you plan on hiding back there?" I asked sensing the purple aura.

"Who were ya on the ol' phone to?" I slightly want to tell her but at the same time I know I can't.

"Sarah was dealing with a problem and she was informing me of the situation." She doesn't believe me but she's not saying anything.

"Okey dokey if that's all then nothing to worry about." She said walking back into the living room.

"V, you there?" Yeah I'm here. Do you know what's happening in there. Unfortunately I've been sworn to secrecy, sorry man No problem but who swore you to secrecy...V? Huh guess he's gone. I spent the rest of the night wondering when that sadistic bastard will kick the bucket.

 **Hey guys I didn't have a plan for this chapter then again I never do but anyway I'm probably gonna delete steel heart mainly because I can't think of a plot for it so that's all for now good day/morning/evening/night to you all!**


	14. cyber shirai ryu

"Hey histoire why are these kids here again?" I said as Plutia got three little devils to sleep

The first, whose names compa had peachy hair which had a hair clip in the shape of a c and peach eyes. I'll be the first to admit the fact she took a liking to a _very_ realistic looking needle scares the living shit outta me!

The second one reminds me of one of the shirai ryu's finest members who happens to be called IF as well! She has short brown hair and a seemingly trade mark leaf hair clip and she had green eyes. I sense the tom-boy already.

And finaly for some reason it hurts my head a little to look at the last one whose named peashy. She has orangey-yellow hair that has two red balls in it and her eyes were blue.

"Ever since a member of the seven sages started accusing us of kidnapping children we have been preparing the bassilicom to become a temporary orphanage to children who lost their parents due to monsters." How dose- Ya know what i wont bother.

"What's the bets Neptune's gonna accuse me of getting someone pregnant?" Histoire sighed

"Despite the fact i informed her of this I suspect she will." Histoire and I sighed. Then the door swung open and three cpus...stood there...I'm fucked.

"Heya histy and Plutie!" I have officially started to pray to whatever deity's aren't in the room right now.

"Shhh! You'll wake the babies!" Plutia said.

"Oh yeah sorry!" Wait did Neptune remember?!

"EHHHHHHHH?!" never mind

"Wah!" oh great they woke them up.

"Shh please don't cry." Plutia somehow got them to stop.

"When did you pop 'em out!?" Neptune asked

"Yeah and who's the dad?!" Noire shrieked before all heads turned to me.

"Hey I'm good but i ain't that good!" Blanc looked sceptical

"Your the only male close enough to her to get her pregnant so its the likely solution." That makes sense.

"So ladies lets nep him up!" Sword, sword and hammer...I'm as good as dead.

"Well I am not going out with out a fight!" I said summoning my dual katanas.

"Please calm down everyone! Neptune i thought i told you about this situation!" Histoire said as the tip of nep's katana was at my throat at this point while one of mine was at blanc's throat and the other at noire's.

"You didn't say anything about Plutie being pregers!" Neptune exclaimed while i sighed and my katanas disappeared.

"No histoire informed you that the bassilicom was being used as a child care centre while someone out there kidnaps kids." I saidand i teleported to the other side of the room.

"I knew all along i was just playing around." Sure noire suuuuure.

"Sure you did noire." Me and blanc share the same mind!

"So do i get an apology for having a katana pointed at my neck?" I asked and Neptune shook her head.

"I wont believe you until i see a DNA test!" Sigh why do i even try

"Neppy apologise to kian or else." i felt my sins crawling on my back, oh wait that's just Plutia.

"O-o-ok we don't need to go Sadie here! Sorry about that kian!" Ahhh satisfactory at its finest.

"Hey no problem. So histoire how long till big you gets nep home?" Histoire looked shocked that i asked.

"Not long but...why are you asking?" Do i have to explain everything?

"The simple fact her nation is coming closer to the brink of collapsing every day isn't enough reason?" I believe i have stabbed the mood i the back and tea-bagged it.

"I get the feeling that's not all." Neptune said, she wasn't wrong but i don't want to talk about it.

"That's your opinion. But i wont be going back with you." I said and she looked more surprised.

"Why?" The truth being purple heart is coming, and I'm the only one who can stop her.

"I...have things that need to be taken care of." I said taking a bottle of alcohol out of my inventory.

"What things you don't do things!?" Ok I'm starting to get pissed off.

"Something that has a very high chance of killing me and everyone that gets in its way!" I snapped before feeling a pain in my head followed by images of the temple full of robot-no nonononononononononono! That's meant to happen to the lin kuei! Not the shirai ryu! "I have to go!" I said slightly panicked.

"First tell us what has a high chance of killing you?" I HAVE NO TIME FOR THIS SHIT!

"A heart-attack!" i said teleporting to the temple to find no guards blocking my way in, i quickly called steve

"Hey what do you want man?"

"Get you ass to my temple asap!"

"Whoa calm down, why." DO I NEED A REASON!?

"Code cyber dumbass." He instantly hung up. I walked through the gates and instinctively changed into scorpion and proceeded to enter the temple. I know from dealing with tri-borg that they are as sneaky as me or sub-zero. **_"Still quiet."_** I entered the main room to find it full of yellow robots except for...

 ** _"Sarah, after all i did for you, this is the thanks i get?"_** She started laughing

"Yep the seven sages hired me after you started showing them up!" I smirked.

" ** _And all of you...you agreed to lose your humanity for what? What were you promised?"_ ** They all looked at me and charged.

" ** _I guess you were promised DEATH!"_** I unsheathed my katanas and slashed the first ones head off resulting in oil spraying everywhere, when more came running for some reason the dumbasses were running behind one another so one whip=four heads. One slipped past me and almost cut me open but it was frozen.

" _ **About time!"**_ Sub-zero slid into the room

 _"Gimme a break its a long way away from here to lowee."_ he complained

" _ **Excuses are for the weak!"**_ I said chopping the arms off one bot before kicking it into the sea of robots before it exploded. Steve eventually gave up on trying to find an excuse for my insult and created one of his ice hammers and he became blanc, in other words he spun around killing several of them resulting in many explosions, truly man-kinds greatest creation. As the begun to surround me I was struck by a great idea! I put a whip through ones head and fling it to the other side and when it exploded it took that side of the ring with it so i decapitated the rest leaving a small amount which steve froze but while this happened Sarah ran away and we both de-formed.

"FUCK IT ALL TO NETHER REALM!" I screamed

"Hey lets head back, okay?" He grabbed onto my shoulder and we instantly teleported to the planetpatune bassilicom.

"About time you got back!" Noire i am personally sick of your voice right now.

"Not in the mood to deal with your shit now noire." She was offended but i was to tired.

"What the hell did you just say!" I was about to summon my blades but steven got in my way.

"Noire he has just killed his entire clan, which were turned into robots give him a break." He said and noire just turned.

"Its his fault for leaving his clan for so long." Ok I'm pissed!

"Oh I'm sorry miss bitch but if the seven sages made you kill your entire fucking nation would it be your fault of theirs!" Thankfully the kids weren't there.

"Kian please refrain from snapping like that." I'm about to make a mistake

"Would you rather me snap like that or snap someones neck?" everyone except steve gasped.

"Kian get some rest before i put you on ice." He was right, i was just to tired. I stumbled to my room, I'm not sure weather it was tiredness or i got stabbed in the leg.

 **Steven's pov...**

He's pissed and i don't blame him.

"The nerve of him!" Of course now i have to put up with this.

"Noire, Sarah was in the seven sages and she got away, meaning he couldn't even kill the one who made him suffer so unless you want to fill that slot I'd Back. Off." I said and Neptune looked a little bit worried

"Whats wrong with you nep?" She snapped out of it.

"Nothing its just he seems off today, even before the whole clan killing thing." She has a point, he's hiding something and i got the feeling he wont tell anyone.

"Well I'm not leaving until i get an apology!" Blanc threw her hammer and i threw an ice hammer.

"Can you not be a bitch for five minutes?" blanc asked.

"Or perhaps me and iris heart can have some fun with you instead?" I added and she had a look on her face of pure terror.

"Ok maybe he deserves a rest!" Not good enough

 _"Maybe?"_ she was scared shitless

"O-okay he deserves rest." Good

"Ok so _everyone_ try not to piss him off if you want to live." I warned them and i pray to whatever god/goddess isn't in the room that what ever he's worried about dosent happen.

 **Ok I'm sorry for making kian threaten noires life sorta but in his defence he had to kill his friends an** **d he was tired as hell so that's al for this week (Or is it play x files opening or more commonly referred to as illuminati) and see ya next time**


	15. The arrival of the sister

"I'm glad everybody could make it today." Histoire said as blanc and noire entered the room.

"Whatever I had nothing better to do." Ahh tsundere truly the most cacti of women.

"Dose anyone other than me speak tsundere?" Blanc, Neptune, Steven and histoire all raised their hands.

"I'm not a tsundere!" Noire yelled slapping my face in the process.

"Please can we get back on track!" Histoire yelled as I held a katana to noire's neck.

"Oh...right that." I said grimly.

"Hey what's that all a bout?" Noire is in a bad mood toda-Oh wait no that's me!

"We have found a way to send Neptune back and we are underway in the teleportation preparation." Histy said and Plutia sat beside me on the couch with a sad look that made me want to hug her for some strange reason.

"Neppy's going home." Plutia said and everyone was quiet.

"ABABABABABBABABAABBAABBABABABAABBABA!" Who put histy on vibrate again?

"Its time. Bye nep." I said opening the door to the garden which if you randomly woke up in you would say it was a field, I mean seriously it was fucking huge! Anyway we all walked until we made it to the centre of the field where a metallic square was found seemingly untouched by the greenery...I'm gonna throw up if I have to talk like that again author! **Imma do it again.**

"Here we are...I'd suggest you say goodbye now." I walked up to her first

"So after all this your gonna go home huh?" I asked with my usual grin.

"It would be better if you came along to, you know." I sighed.

"Like I told histoire I got work to do here, but when I find a way to your dimension then you'll be the first to kno-huh?" I was cut off by her hugging me...if I were a dense anime protagonist what would I do?

"Just find a way." She said letting go I turned to see Steve with a smirk.

"swiggity swooty commin for dat booty!" He whispered into my ear which resulted in a kunai being forcefully stabbed into his balls which made him curl up in pain.

"What? He was asking for it!" Everyone sighed and said goodbye to Neptune and a pillar of light struck the ground and Neptune hesitated and as she was about to jump in there was a commotion on the other side of the portal and it disappeared.

"Well...looks like your stuck here for another while." I said a scream was heard by me, nep and Steve. We looked up to see a black dot falling straight for noire.

"Everyone step back, noire stay put." Surprisingly they did as they were told and within ten seconds a smoke cloud engulfed the garden.

"Oh goodness where am I?" Huh where have I heard that voice before?

"Wait a minute I know that innocent voice, Nep jr!" Neptune said as the smoke cleared revealing a girl in a sailor uniform. She had long light purple hair with one D-pad hair clip as well as pink stockings.

"Oh my goodness, Neptune! I missed you so much." I leaned into Steve

"Is noire dead or unconscious?" He shrugged his shoulders.

"Hey get off me!" Nope just unconscious.

"What the goodness!?" Nep jr aid pissing noire off ever so slightly.

"Don't you what the goodness me! Get the hell off!" I sighed.

"Anyone else think these two aimed for noire?" She got up and looked at me.

"Don't you start!" Dose she wanna fight.

"If you want a fight, bring it!" She backed off awww.

"Um who are you?" Nep jr asked me.

"Kian, yours?" I have a feeling that nep jr isn't a real name.

"My names nepgear and I'm neptunes younger sister, CPU candidate of planeptune." So now there's more cpus in hyper dimension.

"were you able to transform?" Steve asked.

"why are you asking Steve?" He shrugged his shoulders.

"Curious." He replied

"Yes I can." I held up a finger, not the middle one.

"Not here you can't, you need an item called a cpu memory, pretty rare." I said.

"Oh that's fine then, maybe I can get a chance to develop." She said the last part quietly.

"Wait you said younger sister, you look older." I looked at Steve.

"Well Steve as we both know I look younger than you, yet I'm old enough to be your grandfather." He nodded.

"Point taken." This left nepgear confused.

"Um how are you old enough to be his grandfather?" I looked at her and shrugged.

"I'm dead, and don't ask how I died I don't remember." She seemed to take it well.

"Everyone I have just received some terrible news!" Histy said flying out to the Garden? Wait when did she leave?

"Go ahead." I said and she took our a letter.

"This is a declaration of war to all the nations." Histoire said and everyone except me and Steve gasped.

"Putting my money on thunder tits." I said and he smirked.

"Bet it's arfoire." Histories continued .

"Well what it says is, I wish to declare war to your nations, come to my nation immediately." Steve cursed and handed me a kunai.

"Not now, you expect it, I'll do it when you _least_ expect it." He noticeably shuddered.

"Lemme guess the name of this nation's leanbox, correct?" Histy looked confused.

"How did you?" I cut her off

"Plot convenience called and told me, meaning I was on a quest one day and saw a large city." Everyone sighed. "Oh by the way, I'm not going." Everyone looked at me. "Someone whos able to withstand being crushed, no offence histy, has to watch the kids." I said.

"why don't we leave gear?" Blanc said.

"But I want to spend time with my sister!" She complained.

"Sorry nep jr. but since you can't transform your hurt more easily and if you were to accidentally die I would be a horrible sister, but I promise to bring back a souvenir!" Gears eyes lit up.

"Ok! I'll stay here!" Noire looked at me.

"I'm not going." I repeated

"Guys he has reasons not to go, and lemme say if you want zero casualties then leave him here." Thanks Steve.

"Steve come here." He did as told and I slipped him a couple million credits. "When Neptune forgets the souvenir, buy one for her." He nodded

"What kind?" I closed my eyes.

"From the aura I'm getting something techie." Steve nodded before leaving me and gear with the kids. It was quiet until nepgear sighed.

"What's wrong gear?" I asked and she looked depressed.

"It's just that, I just got reunited with my sister and now she's gone." I sat beside her on the couch, luckily I had gotten the kids asleep. "I want to protect her, I don't want a repeat of what happened a few years back." She stoped.

"What happened." I was actually curious, she seemed to let Neptune go freely and as soon as she left this.

"The cpus got captured in a place called the game industry graveyard, me and the other candidates freed them but." I saw a tear escape her eye. "I never want to lose Neptune like that again." I put an arm around her, and she cried onto my shoulder for a while.

"Feel better?" I asked as she sat back down in her seat.

"Yes, sorry if I was a little annoying I won't do it again." I smiled

"The hell are you talking about, talking about your problems is good for you and if you need a shoulder to cry in evey now and again, I'm here for ya." I said with a smile before I felt something in my pants...I am praying to scorpion that it is not a boner, I loot down to see a cpu memory. "Here gear, a cpu memory." She looked shocked that I was just giving this to her.

"Why don't you want to become a cpu?" I put my feel on the table and put my hands beefing my head.

"To much work." I answered and she crushed it in her hand before being engulfed in light, almost waking the kids, but sleep magic is very handy, when the light died down I almost had a nosebleed she wearing a bikini of sorts it revealed her stomach and part of her legs, the chest was pink and white and so was the lower region, she had pink wings that looked like semi circles, her hair was pink and went down to about her hips she had a circle hair clip with a blue light on it and her eyes were blue, most of her legs were covered by white stocking like things with a bit of pink.

"I'm a cpu again thank you Kian!" Hug...boobs...blood loss...boner...scorpion take over...shutting down.

 **Did he just pass out from blood loss**

 ** _He did_**

 **And he gave nepgear a cpu memory out of the goodness of his heart?**

 ** _Apparently so_**

 **Ok...I'm confused but any way I'm so so so so so sorry about not uploading, school has been a pain in my ass, but I'm alive, on the outside at least but thank you guys so much fro reading, and if you liked it punch that favourite button in the face, like a boss! And hi fives all around, and I'll see all you dudes (and dudettes) in the next chapter!**


	16. Here's thunder tits!

I woke up on a red brick road in a very familiar neighbourhood yet crippled. Alpha...what happened to you.

"Heh, so you finally fucked this world up huh?" I asked as a purple aura entered the area.

"Well after a certain someone left there was no challenge left for me." Purple Heart said as I drew my katana and became scorpion.

" _ **So I was the only one keeping this dimension together huh? WELL TO FUCKING BAD!"**_ I ran at purple and tried to slash at her but she simply flicked me away! Ok another tactic could work. I ran at her and teleported behind her but I was backhanded into a building! I was getting mad. I ran at her and slashed for the legs while ducking under a hand and landed a few hits before back flipping to a safe distance only to have purple rush up to me and stab my leg before slapping me into another building.

 _ **Round2 fight!**_

I was imobile, I don't know why but I couldn't move. There is a pain...an unimaginable pain in my chest was it...fear?

"I'm bored of this." She said walking into the building rubble and I didn't move an inch instead I was on my knees, not begging but accepting what was coming.

 _ **FINISH HIM!**_

I fell out of bed and hit my nose off the desk next to it.

"Who the fuck puts a bed next to a desk." I complained as I walked into the living room to see vert and felt cold steel materialise on my back.

"Like I said bigger is better, console wise and bust, just ask them." Your in for a surprise bitch.

"Yeah, I'd rather sleep with someone who's tits won't suffocate me in the middle of the night, thunder tits." to say vert was shocked would be an understatement.

"Yeah I gotta agree with Kian but some times bigger is bett-!" I cut my friend off by holding a katana against his throat.

"Shhhh leave it at that or you shall be exiled to leanbox, got It?" He nodded slowly.

"How can you not like large busts! They are clearly superior!" I pulled out a chalk board and quickly drew a man with a circle around the crotch.

"This is the average male and this circle represents where the brain usually resides, now I'm not most men, due to the fact my crotch had been stabbed, shot, blown up and torn off of my body, my brain has realised that my dick isn't the safest place in the body so now it currently resides in my head where it hasn't suffered any harm as of yet, and that concludes this short presentation thank you for your attention." I said with a bow before throwing the kunai Steve gave me last chapter and he curled up in pain.

"I cannot believe what I am hearing! Clearly you have been brainwashed by staying around these women for so long, fear not I shall rehabilitate you~" She started to approach but I had a katana at her throat.

"Touch me and I will kill you got it, thunder tits." I threatened and she backed off. "If you want someone take Steve, I could care less." Everyone except Steve gasped.

"What! How can you sell your friend off like that?!" Neptune yelled.

"In simple terms an experiment, so cow what's it gonna be?" I asked to see she was already suffocating poor Steve.

"So this is what it looks like to everyone when this happenes to me." Gear said as vert walked out the door without a word.

"Well that was weird." I said as the door opened.

"I want you all to come to my nation for a fight where I will win." Vert said before disappearing again.

"Can I please kill her." I asked as nicely as I could but. "NO!" Worth a shot.

"We can bring gear, I had a spare rice ball on me." I said and everyone gasped.

"I've been looking for years and you have a spare!?" Noire screeched.

"Yeah, Plus I get the strange feeling thunder tits would try something if we asked for one, so I figured give one to gear now while we're ahead of the story." Hey I've not been breaking the forth wall enough lately!

"Yeah that sounds like vert." Neptune said and noire looked like she was going to say something but decided against it

"so are we heading out or what?" I asked and everyone shrugged.

"We should probably prepare for the attack." Blanc said and everyone agreed before I felt that pain in my chest again so I sat down and closed my eyes but instead of peace I was reliving that battle until I was shook awake.

"Huh what? Who?" Turns out nepgear woke me up and looked a little worried.

"Ummmm Kian you were sweating a lot and you looked scared." She said and I wiped my forehead, she was right I was sweating

"Just a nightmare that's all. I'm going for a walk, be back in a few." I said walking out the door only for my phone to ring.

"Yellow?" It was noire I could tell.

"Kian were in trouble! Purple gained more fate than us over night and now we are all hiding in a bunker." Noire said frantically as the sound of a door flying off the hinges could be heard in the back round and the last thing I heard was noire screaming before the call ended.

"When i meet that bitch again, imma kill her." I said teleporting to virtua-forest and looked up to see four shooting stars, huh don't see that every day do ya? I continued to slice through the mobs before feeling a sense of doom, before I was hit in the back by four things.

"Who ever the fuck threw rocks at me better start running!" I said pushing the four things off my back only to see a girl with a red and white hat with brown hair s well as a red and white shrine madin outfit, alpha-Blanc. The second was wearing a green dress had average size bust and blond hair, alpha-vert. The third was wearing what see,ed to be torn pajamas and had lavender hair, alpha-plutie and the last had a two piece outfit with a black and blue skirt and a black and blue chest piece, twin tails and barely open red eyes.

"Stay with me noire, come on." I used a basic healing spell and her eyes opened.

"K-kian!?" SHE FUCKING HUGGED ME!

"Whoa I had no clue it was that time." She then slapped me, ahh back to normality.

"So where are we? Ultra-dimension wasn't it?" I nodded.

"And the Neptune here isn't the one you were just raped by." She nodded, due to the fact I've been saying stuff like that for so long she's immune to innuendoes, well most of them.

"So...how's life?" She asked trying to make conversation.

"Dull, well if you count the fact I may have to kill this dimensions vert interesting, you?" I asked as I threw plutia over my shoulder.

"Sounds boring but how are we gonna get these lot back to the bassilicom?" Noire asked as I teleported.

"That." I hadn't realised that I had teleported into the living room...

"WHO THE HELL ARE THEY!?" Boy this is gonna take some explaining.


	17. The war (short lived)

"Ok so everyone up to date on who everyone is?" I asked and surprisingly once i explained that the other cpus are from another dimension, and noire explained Neptune isn't a sadistic bitch to the other alphas things shimmered down quickly.

"So wheres this dimensions vert?" asked.

"Oh she's probably after killing steve by suffocation." I said and vert seemed to agree. "While were on that subject, when are we heading out." Blanc shrugged.

"Now." I am gonna regret this but i teleported us to the leanbox boarder and instantly fell to one knee.

"Holy fuck, remind me never to teleport more than four people." I said leaning up against the tree.

"Are you sure your alright?" U. Plutia asked me.

"I can still fight, just gimme me a few." I said as i spotted a boat.

"Looks like thunder tits left us a boat." I said and vert looked pissed.

"How an you still call me that name." I shrugged.

"Because i have yet to cut this verts tits off." I said walking towards the boat and everyone followed, and we found my favourite ice ninja.

"Steve, your alive!" I said and he looked confused.

"And drunk apparently." I realised what he was talking about.

"Nah those are the cpu's from alpha." he took out some whisky.

"Want some?" I shrugged.

"Fight better drunk anyway." I said downing the bottle. "Fuck that's rough." I said discarding the bottle.

"Anyway I've been waiting here for a week because vert had to get shit ready so all aboard." steve said. It was a quiet ride to leanbox but we got there eventually.

"She's in halo forest, follow me." Somethings up.

"Steve is this an ambush?" I asked and he flinched. "You fucking traitor." I said becoming scorpion when four auras entered the area.

"My i was starting to think you'd never come." Ok one aura was thunder tits.

" _ **Cut the crap cow, who else wants to come out of hiding!**_ " I yelled and three familiar faces stepped forward." _ **John, cas and Sonya. I'm not surprised at all.**_ " I said as steve stepped beside me." **Girls you take thunder tits, we have these pricks.** " I said as the five of us stepped forward.

"So kian your possessed by scorpion, huh?" John said.

 _ **"And your possessed by a certain cage?"**_ I said and with a flash of green light Johnny cage was standing before me.

"Come on hanzo I thought you liked challenges?" John said as he got in a stance.

"That's why I don't like you." I said getting into my position.

 ** _round one, fight!_**

John charged at me with his green energy but i effortlessly ducked out of the way of his kick before uppercutting him and throwing my whip which he caught, good. The whip he caught lit itself on fire burning his hand slightly and while he was distracted i teleport behind him and slashed at the back of his knees before stabbing his shoulders making blood fly everywhere

" _ **This is the end of you!**_ " In response to this johhny jumped up and did a little dance.

 ** _round two, fight!_**

he charged at me with his energy attack but from his fist this time which admittedly did catch me off guard but this nest move was completely expected when I was stumbling backwards he attempted his X-ray but I blocked it and round house kicked him into a tree and his health was low enough for a fatality

 ** _finish him!_**

I wasn't going to but cas thought other wise and kicked me out of the way.

"Sorry kian, can't let you kill my family like Steve did yours." That pissed me off.

 **"** _ **You know I didn't plan on killing anyone today but I'll make an exception for you.** " _Im not gonna kill her but I really wanna finish her.

 ** _Round three, fight!_**

One thing I forgot was cassy had green energy as well. I really think she broke a rib or two, but I'm not letting her get away with that so I grabbed he shoulders before using the tips of my whips to cut her before uppercuting her with a fist of flames then she hit me with a hit to the balls, needless to say my health bar looked a little more empty than usual.

 ** _Round four, fight!_**

I had been hit enough to preform my X-ray so I engulfed myself in flames and was sent flying towards her hitting her before she could counter and when she had turned around I grabbed her shoulders and kicked her high in the air before throwing one whip which landed in her neck then my second whip damaged her skull before slamming her into the ground. She had lost a bit of hp but she could still fight good. I ran up to her and hit her a lot before kiacking her to a tree before.

" _Get over here!_ " She was pulled closer to receive a kick into the ground.

 ** _Round five_** ** _fight!_**

She ran up to me before jumping over my head but the trick-X-ray is a trick I've fallen for to many times. So I blocked her before having a minion hold her in place so I could gain she distance but I had also forgotten she carried a pair of pistols so you could imagine my surprise to getting shot in the face, twice. But when she was trapped again she received a fully charged super fire ball which knocked the rest of her hp down to nada.

 ** _Finish her!_**

theory testing time. As I got close to cassy a drone shot me in the back.

" ** _Listen Sonya I'm not going to hurt me them, look I'm even gonna change back..._ "** With a flash of fire I was standing there and walked over to the girls to see a vert being touched by iris heart.

"Lemme guess vert pissed off plutia." Everyone shook their head.

"According to plutie she needed to be thought a lesson." Neptune said. I looked a little disappointed.

"Why didn't she invite me?" I whined. What I hate and I mean hate vert, I mean alpha ain't so bad anymore but that's only because I cut her tits off.

"Because you would've killed her, like you almost killed our vert." said. She has a point.

"So do you and the cages plan to invade the lin kquei any time soon?" I asked and Soyna looked confused.

"What happened to the shirai ryu?" I had a grim expression.

"They didn't make it." She was curious guess Sonya blade hasn't completely changed her.

"If your curious it was code cyber." She looked taken back.

"Sorry for your loss." Steve came over and so did plutia.

"Kian, can I ride on your back until we get home?" DAM DOSE PUPPY DOG EYES MY ONLY FUCKING WEAKNESS!

"Sure, hop on." Steve was about to say so,eating before a kunai made itself known.

"Can I come home now, leanbox is boring." I had a smug look.

"so what have we learned?" I asked and he looked pissed.

"Big boobs aren't everything." I rubbed his hair.

"Excellent, Now until you fully redeem your self you shall be staying in the hotel across the road, good day." I said and he looked star struck before me and plutia teleported.

 **Hey guys now in case you haven't noticed the alpha girls have an A. Before their names so in case you didn't pick up on that, there ya go, not much to say outer than like follow and review if you want.**


	18. to alpha!

After putting Plutia down in her bed i slipped into my room for a while. Note to any who were perverted to wonder, i wasn't jerking off. Instead i was dreaming of a white cristmas- wait no scratch that I'm in alpha sorta.

"Help me, anyone who is left that can hear this, I'm histoire once the oracle of planeptune. I'm a dark dungeon under the bassilicom. Please help me." Wait i thought Neptune killed histoire well I know where that is so maybe I can save her? I stepped out of my room and closed the door.

"Histoire, could you come here please?" I asked and the fairy took about two seconds to appear around the corner.

"Yes kian?" I looked her in the eyes.

"If anyone asks I'm gone for a break, ok?" She looked confused.

"But where are you going, you don't have to explain if you don't want to." I felt i could trust histoire

"I heard a distress call from alpha's histoire so I'm going to help her out, that and i feel like I'm forgetting something or someone." I said and she nodded.

"I see but are you sure you can teleport between dimensions?" She dose have a point.

"Well I heard a rumour that if someone were to eat a shard from a teleport crystal they can teleport to where ever the want providing they've been there before. For example if i ate a shard of an irregular teleport between dimensions. The only catch is i had to use an irregular crystal in that dimension." Histoire looked confused.

"Tell me just how did you obtain this information?" I really got it through illegal experimentation. Hey i trust her but if you were experimenting on humans to see if they could teleport then kill them to keep your research a secret, would you tell someone?

"Research." I said simply. "So I'll hopefully be back by tomorrow with the histoire and hopefully some clarity on what I'm forgetting." I said before taking out the irregular crystal that I had found in the cave where my clan once resided and broke off a small piece and if i had to describe what it felt like, well have you ever swallowed a chip/ French fry (JFC) and the sharp edge scrapes you all the way down, it felt like that. "Alright, bye for now." I said teleporting to alpha but what was weird was the fact I was in a street i felt like i knew but i don't remember ever coming here. I walked until i kicked something I looked down to see a six shot revolver with three purple bullets left in the chamber.

"Looks helpful." I said as i picked it up i seemed to shift into a third person perspective, only thing is the person was wearing their hood which was attached to a black hoodie and black pants.

"Looks like you here _, Are you ready to die?" Purple heart asked the man who responded with three shots from the revolver which clipped purple hearts wings and she fell to the ground.

"That's for _ and _ you megalomaniac." He said throwing the revolver to where I'm standing before he ran off and purple heart was in hot pursuit. The world shifted back to the first person pov we all know

"What the actual fuck?" I said noticing a belt that seemed to be meant for the gun it also had a pouch full of the purple bullets. "At least I got ammo." i said walking down the path the hooded man fled. I was running until i stopped outside a house, I don't know and went into a third person pov again, this time he didn't have his hood up but i was behind him the whole time but i couldn't change my position. When he opened the door there were two bodies who's faces wee blurred out but who ever they were, they were important to him and yes in case you think i don't know who this guy is he's the old me, before i forgot.

"I'm gonna fucking kill purple heart." old me said. and i completely agree with ya pal but we don't kill her, sadly. The reins were handed to me once more and i kicked the door open to see a shit ton of blood but the strange thing is the lack of bodies.

"I wonder if I lived here?" I asked no one in particular.

"You did." I spun around with the revolver to see a little girl with a pink and navy jumper and her eyes looked like they were shut.

"How do you know that? And who are you!" I said an she got closer.

"I'm frisk, or determination." She said in monotone.

"Ok frisk, start talking!" I need to know who i was.

"Well you lived here and when purple found out she came to kill you and everyone else in the house." She said and i lowered my gun.

"Ok, thanks and sorry if i came off as a dick its just I'm paranoid." She shook her head.

"No your judgemental, also purple heart is not at fault for this or your murders." I laughed.

"Hell yeah she is i watched her tear me apart and stab me!" She walked out the door.

"That wasn't her, that was sin." she said disappear past the doorframe and when I ran out after her, she was gone.

"Hmm frisk, you are a confusing young lass." I said before running to the bassilicom.

 _ **Third person pov...**_

"Did you tell him determination?" A female voice asked frisk.

"Not all but I informed him of sin." Frisk replied.

"Sigh, better than nothing lets return." The voice said as both of them disappeared in a white light.

 _ **back to kian...**_

I walked up to the door after sensing one person inside and the aura was to pure to be purple so I'm assuming its histoire so i pushed the door open and ran through the lobby and quickly proceed to run down the stairs into the basement.

"Histoire? Heloooo?" I said walking through the dungeon

"Who are you?" A shaking voice replied to my call.

"I'm the response to your distress call, I'm getting you out of here." I said lighting my hand of fire.

"How do I know you aren't one of Neptune's goons?" I laughed at this question.

"Yeah I work for the one who killed me twice, good joke." I said as i felt an aura come behind me.

"Alright then tell me your name." Histoire asked

"Kian resnove, at your service." I said turning around to face the fairy.

"Ok so how do you plan to get us out of here?" She asked before we heard a door opened behind us.

"Yes kian, how will you get past me now." Neptune said and I pushed histoire behind me.

"Well I have two options, I kill you now and get that over and done with but I'm not in the mood to give you a hat trick of killing me or i teleport both of us out of here and to where i have been hiding. So imma gonna go with option two, gtg bye!" I said as I grabbed histoire and we teleported to ultra and we both fell to the ground, once again in virtua forest.

"I cant thank you enough for getting me out of there." Histoire said overjoyed by her new found freedom.

"No problem, C'mon lets see the others, I'm sure the Alpha cpu's will be happy to see you again." She tilted her head.

"Alpha cpu's?" She asked

"Yeah, we are currently in a dimension known as the ultra dimension and i gave the name alpha dimension to your dimension." she nodded and we both walked back to the bassilicom.

"Hey I'm back." I then turned to histoire. "The Neptune here is good so don't be afraid." She nodded and the goddess we were talking about came around the corner.

"Heya kian and big histy." She stood there for a moment before looking at histoire.

"Kian...when did histy get here." I shrugged.

"Its alpha so you can slack off until mini histy catches ya." i said as alpha noire entered the lobby and her eyes immediately locked onto histoire.

"Holy crap...we all thought you were dead histoire." A. noire said walking over.

"Well thank kian for that." She gestured to me.

"How did you even find her?" asked.

"I had a dream!" I said imitating a very successful man.

 **Ta da that's that and for you idiots who don't know who frisk is, she is the main character of undertale pacifist route and that brilliant game belongs to toby fox so that's all until this weekend hopefully**


	19. Sarah wants revenge

After everyone reintroduced them selfs with histoire thunder tits bursts through the door along with the cages and blade while Steve hid behind the couch.

"Unbelievable! To think you all would stoop as low as to spread bad rumours about my console!" I coughed

"Enlighten us thunder tits, because I have been busy rehabilitating Steve to spread rumours." I looked at the quivering excuse of a man. "Right Steve?" I asked and he nodded violently.

"He seemed terrified of you!" Soyna said.

"He is as you should be." I said with a darker aura, Steve was trying to make a break for the balcony.

"Hey that's my wife-" "Ex-wife." I cut john off.

"Point is threaten her again and I'll hurt you!" He said hitting his fist off his palm, I smirked and teleported behind him and hit his balls before hitting the back of his neck.

"Nice try jackass, but mess with the scorpion and you get stung." I said.

"Vert do you allow the import of at her devices to your nation?" Blanc asked.

"Umm no." Apparently they continued the conversation while we were talking huh.

"That's why your people don't complain about size, they don't know anything else!" Noire said as I felt a number of auras approaching.

"Hey guys." I said only to be ignored.

"So your saying the only reason my console is so popular in my nation is because my people have no other choice?" Vert asked

"Pepole." I said only catching the other members of kombat attenion

"That's exactly what we're saying!" Neptune said as I saw a red dot on the wall.

"SNIPER GET THE FUCK DOWN!" I yelled pushing the cpus down to the ground.

"Thanks for the save!" Neptune said as I stood up and the glass shattered and ten military women stood with guns fixed on my chest.

"Were here to kill the cpus, get out of our way!" The person who I'm assuming is in charge yelled.

"Go fuck yourselfs!" I said as Steve stabbed one in the back while Cassie and Sonya shot three and I cut two heads off before throwing two whips and ripping out two hearts and when one snuck up on me I flipped her over my shoulder and drew my gun before unloading three rounds into her head, leaving one scared little solider.

"Who sent you assholes." I asked and all she did was shake. "TALK!" I yelled

"Sarah narran of the Seven Sages gave us a large sum of money to kill the cpus!" She spat out and I nodded before shooting her between the eyes.

"Dude! What the fuck!" Sonya yelled and i shrugged.

"I hate rats." I put it simply before vert looked at me with lustful eyes.

"For a man into planks you won't hesitate to grab a breast when the opportunity arises~" she said and I put one round in the gun.

"Care to shut it thunder tits?" I said purposely missing her head but unfortunately if compa and peashy walked in to the room as I shot at vert.

"Why is ketchup on da flor?" If asked and my eyes widened instantly before I clicked my fingers and the bodies and blood disappear.

"Neptune spilt it on the floor after dropping her plate." There's that Nepu again!

"Who were those people?" Peashy asked.

"Uhh friends." I said sweating a little bit.

"What was dat sound?" Compa asked.

"That compa...is a very good question! So why don't you all go back to your room and we can beat up Steve later, k?" I asked and they all nodded before running to the play room and when I turned around people were in shock.

"What? Couple of chapters ago I stopped war between lastation and lowee, but kids are different story all together." I said and alpha still looked shocked.

"Kian back in alpha you were more antisocial than vert, now you can handle kids! How the hell can you even be the same person!" A. Noire said

"On a different matter, vert what do you mean I'm clearly into planks?" I asked.

"Well you are constantly around Neptune and plutia as well as getting regular visits from fla-" She stopped talking when she had a katana and an axe to her throat. "Blanc, the only breasts you see are noire's." She said and I raised an eyebrow.

"Check my fucking browser history I dare you." I said and got a slap on the back of the head, which I was barely able to hold my footing against. "Is full of how to's on child care." I said turning and the whole alpha gang was confused while the ultra crowd had smirks, it was then nepgear walked into the lounge.

"Oh goodness what's going on out here." Verts eyes locked onto nepgear.

"Eyes off cow, unless you want your tits on a silver platter." She looked at me with a smirk.

"Your saying that like you have feelings for her." Vert said jiggling her breasts and the alpha cpus froze in horror.

"Did she just..." A. Blanc started.

"...say he has..." A. Noire continued

"...feelings for nepgear!?" A. Plutia finished. My head twitched once, twice before looking up at vert with a look of bloodlust in my eyes.

"Say. That. Again please." I said slowly but she didn't seem to notice.

"You have feelings for nepgear~" I grabbed her by the neck and lifted her into the air everyone gasped but no one dared stop me.

"I'm sorry say it into my good ear." I said but when I got no reply I dropped the goddess. "Don't make assumptions about someone who's backstory you don't know." I said walking to the fridge to get a can of nep-bull.

"Kian are you insane!" Cassie said as I popped the tab of the can.

"Cas, we both know that you don't bring up my feelings in conversations otherwise you will either die from suffocation or a katana through the abdomen." I said calmly.

"Yes but she runs a nation she could put out a price for your head, then what would you do huh?" Cas asked and I smirked.

"Cassie, have you ever heard of liberty prime?" Her eyes widened.

"Kian no."

"Kian yes."

"How will you even build him!" I downed half the can.

"Gear is a tech geek, I have the schematics and she has the resources to build him and I have the location of a shit ton of nukes are." Cas's jaw was on the floor.

"Now if you don't mind me and the kids have a thing to do." I said downing the rest of the nep-bull and dragged Steve into the girls room.

 **Ta da well that's that so if you guys wanna review with some advice or just wanna say what you like story then it would be appreciated tu it's your choice and until next week peace out!**


	20. Thief is really good at cod

After beating the crap out of Steve it was time for the kids to go to bed and when I came out of the room the cages and Sonya were still here.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of you all staying." I asked noticing they were all playing a multiplayer game.

"Well vert declared war on the nations again and everyone's going for a fight tomorrow and they are bringing nepgear." Cas said.

"Ok and while we're at it I'm going to try the neptunia battle system instead of the kombat one." I said and they all nodded. "Hey what are you playing, doc? Wow your being beaten by Sonya Jesus." I have pissed off cas.

"You try kill her then!" She said as I pulled out my sword. "In the game!" I put away my weapon.

I picked up the fourth controller and picked my custom class, Shotgun and sniper. As I spawned I we wer playing on nuke city so I ran to the nearest house and set up my claymore on every entrance and begun snipping john and cas, Sonya was nowhere to be found until.

 **BOOM** "God damit!"

One of my claymore exploded and soyna's kill cam was her climbing up the ladder and exploding. The fight for her went down hill from there meaning I ran out of sniper rounds and switched to my shotgun and whenever Sonya would try to stab me in the back cas or john would shoot in the opposite direction of which I'm going so I always turn and shoot Sonya square in the face this went on for five minutes before I ran out of rounds completely. Which meant one thing, ITS BUT STABBING TIME! It began with john snipping cas only to be the first victim of the crazed but stabber. But the score limit was reached by me and the final kill cam was me sneaking up on john while prone and stabbing him in the ass.

"The crazed but stabber rises again!" I said strocking my imaginary moustache.

"Dam I had it too until someone asked Kian to prove them wrong!" Sonya said as cas was bent over laughing because of the kill cam.

"YOU COULD HAVE KILLED ME ANY OTHER WAY BUT NO THE FUCKING CRAZED BUT STABBER!" John is a try-hard got it!

"What the goodness is happening out here!" Nepgear asked.

"Just recking these scrubs." I said and she sighed.

"Was the final kill cam him stabbing someone in the behind again?" Nepgear asked.

"The crazed but stabbed never rests, only stabs." I said once again strocking my fake moustache.

"Wait, How did you know about the but stabber?" Cas asked

"He always strokes an imaginary moustache when he wins." Nepgear replied

"Anyway, I hear we're going to leanbox to knock some sense into thundertits, I will come this time." I said.

"But who will look often the kids?" Gear asked and I jerked a thumb to the kids room.

"Steve is seventy percent kid so he will stay behind, plus me and peashy might have broken his arms and legs." I said and everyone face palmed.

"Well at least we have that covered so, what time is it?" I asked and turns out it's six am. "Well looks like we did a Neptune." I said.

"Hey we probably need to get back to leanbox so see ya!" Cas said as all three of them teleported.

"So from what I've heard in brief conversations with the author, you are vulnerable to verts cushions?" I asked turning off the console.

"Yes, vert always saw me as a little sister for some reason." Nepgear said.

"Well if you betray us and side with vert, I'm afraid that me and Sadie will be unleashed upon you." I said with a dark aura and nepgear gulped at the thought of being tortured by me and iris.

"I-I'll try not to!" She said with a look of determination! I had to say it people.

"Hey nep. Jr and Kian what's up!" Neptune said coming into the living room half dressed, a sight which I quickly turned away from. Hey the rating will change someday but first the author must get good at writing sex scenes. **THEIF!** What? I'm telling the truth.

"Neptune put some freaking clothes on dam it!" Unknown to me Neptune now had a devious look on her face.

"What's wrong kian? Don't you like my bod?" HOW THE FUCK CAN I ANSWER THIS?! AUTHOR HELP! **I'm not going to be much help since I haven't had a girl do that before...and probably never will ;(** Depresed author aside I-...why is there something warm on my back. I craned my head back to see Neptune with her hands around my waist!

"Neptune please let go, now." I said but the warm feeling didn't go away.

"Welp guess vert was right, you would prefer her melons against your back any day." My head twitched

"Neptune, I would rather you or Blanc over vert any day of the week." The warm sensation left my back and now Neptune was leaning over me looking me in the eyes, while hers sparkled.

"Are you serious!?" She excitedly asked while creeping the fuck out of me, hey author why is nep so thirsty today? **Hell if I know maybe vert said something last night while you broke Stevens arm and Neptune did this to prove her wrong.**

 **"** Give me one good reason to like those fucking mountains of fat." I said standing up and looking at Neptune to see she was in blue and white underwear. Dam it why did I describe a half naked Neptune there's plenty of that shit on the internep.

 _"_ ** _And saved._** _"_ Dam it master I thought I was meant to be the comedic one out of this and you were meant to be serious!

"That's all I needed to know, I'm going to get dressed now." She siad walking back to her room leaving a shocked OC and a shocked sister.

"I feel dirty." I said while nepgear was frozen in shock.

"My sister just felt you up...in front of me." Even gear gets it! Noire walked in the door followed by Blanc.

"Oh good your up what about the other two, not that I care or anything!" I looked at her.

"First off Neptune is getting changed and plutia is still asleep second I think you meant to finish that with a Baka." She looked ready to kill me but she knew I would kill her slower that she could imagine!

"Oh hey lonely heart and blanny what's up?" Neptune asked as she came out of hers and plutia room with her usual gear and was followed by a half asleep plutia.

"We were on our way to pick you all up so let's go!" Noire impatiently said as an orange light engulfed the room and we were in a forest outside leanbox.

"I was not in the mood to carry plutia here, no offence plutie." I said walking away perfectly fine.

"Wait you were a mess last time but now you can teleport five people with no problems?" Noire asked and I shrugged before remembering the extra load we had on our first trip who have dispersed to their respective nations of this dimension at least.

"Well well this time I have determination, I may just get to kill vert after three years of hearing her brag about her tits." Everyone looked confused before remembering alpha vert. As we walked to halo forest we found two verts. Great.

"Ok alpha so your siding against me? Well I won't kill you this time." I said walking out with a hand in my pocket.

"Oh about time you arrived and where are your friends?" This dimensions vert asked, if your wondering how I can tell the difference between the two because one has fear in her eyes, this one is alpha.

"Their coming but I just wanted to evaluate the enemy and I do say, I'm not impressed." I said as my crew stepped out of the greenery.

"Ugh you had to get rid of our element of surprise didn't you!" Noire complained.

"Well now that your here it's time to end this!" Alpha vert said as both were surrounded by a light and the looked like twins but alpha was wearing a black version of verts clothing.

"Well then..." wait another voice in my head? "It's a beautiful day out side, birds are singing flowers are blooming. On days like these goddesses like you..." Who's making me say this!? " **SHOULD BE BURNING IN HELL!"** Well that's one thing me and this voice can agree to.

play megalovania

As everyone else transformed both green hearts charged at me but I teleported away and for some reason bones flew at them, I then looked down to see I was a skeleton wearing a blue hoodie and black pants.

"Heh..sorry old lady, this is why I never make promises." The voice said in the back of my head. Hey master...master? No answer huh?

"Kian what happened to you?" Purple Heart asked.

"You could say I worked myself down to the bone." I said as my hand went up in blue flames. While black heart white heart and iris helped deal with ultra me and the nep sisters were dealing with alpha but something was...off, her aura was darker than normal and she looked at me with blackened eyes. Something's really wrong.

"C'mon judgement, you don't remember me?" Vert? Sang crazily.

"Huh, don't think so kiddo." I said as vert dropped her spear and drew a vaguely familiar knife and ran at me before being intercepted by nepgear. "Well then, your in for a Bad. Time" I said before lifting my left hand and a wave of bones flew to vert and she wasn't fast enough to dodge or deflect so she blocked and saved herself some pain but the bones left a poison effect. Neptune ran in but she got a kick in the gut and nepgear got a quick shot off at vert before she had her sister thrown at her. I clicked my fingers and a weird dragon skull looking thing, I held out an open palm and closed it into a fist and the skull shot uf a white beam of pure energy which was fucking badass and it engulfed vert, leaving me time to summon a bone and run at her and beat her out of HDD with a blue bone and when her HDD faded away the aura dissipated.

"That was a work out in a half." I said.

"Now let's get plutia under control before she breaks vert." Nep said as alpha vert started to stir and I had skin again.

"Hey plutie, wanna have a good time?" The sadist smiled and came over

"Depends, are you going to give me one?~" she asked.

"Nah but vert here was fighting me and nep, clearly a sign of disobedience." I siad grabbing vert who tried running away.

"I like that idea, Now beg for mercy." Iris heart asked nicely.

"N-Never!" Iris looked at me and we both smiled.

"Well then, we will make you beg!" I said creating a whip, similar to iris hearts and then the fun time began.

 **third persons pov**

"Now unless you want to end up like that just accept we are better than you." Blanc said as they watched mine and Iris's play session.

"B-but if it was a one on one I would have-" She couldn't finish before a katana landed beside the crying goddess who looked over and saw a crazed man whipping her now crying twin sister and immediately took back her words.

"Hey did anyone see kian turn into a skeleton?" Noire asked and the friends of the main character nodded.

"And he got one heck of a power boost, officially stepping into extremely overpowered oc territory." Neptune said as the theif and plutia returned to the group with a traumatised vert.

 **Thieves POV**

"So who's ready to go home?" I asked as plutia jumped on my back and alpha vert walked back to ultra vert.

"Sis I can never get married." Both verts hugged each other while me and plutia grinned with shadows over our eyes.

"Welp were heading back to a nation that don't obsess over tits, bye!" I said teleporting back to planepatune and when the light died down I saw frisk standing in the middle of the living room.

"Looks like you have awoken your true self at last." I put the sleeping plutia down on the couch.

"Ok I need answers, now" she looked at me.

"Go home if you want your answers." She said teleporting.

"You guys saw tha-Fuck." I said realising that I hadn't teleported everyone else.

 **Omg guys it's been to long I'm so sorry for the lack of uploads but my laptops decided to die and I have to use this shitty I pad to upload anything but I was wondering would this count as a crossover or not? Any way we are going to be back on track soon hopefully so see you all soon!**


	21. Error!

As I was about to clock out for the night I was forced to teleport to leanbox in some random factory. How could I tell it was leanbox? Well I fell in front of the girls.

"So, where are we?" I asked as the ground started shaking.

"Well the Seven Sages are launching an attack on my factory!" Vert complained.

"Really? Do they need help or what?" Everyone's palms have been introduced to their faces again.

"We are helping vert, and where's plutie?" Neptune said.

"She's at home sleeping, she needed it after her little play session." I replied as the ground began to shake again.

"Oh I love destroying things with friends!" An overly cheerful voice echoed through the factory.

"Ahh my friend from lastation, wunderbar." I said lighting myself on fire and replaced by scorpion.

" **Lets see if this bastard remembers me."** I said as my walk became a full on sprint, what I want him dead for good!

"Welp there he goes again." Noire said.

"I take it he dose this often." Vert said.

"I haven't known him long enough to give you a straight answer thunder tits." Blanc said. Yes! She has given into temptation!

"Gals shouldn't we be running to catch up?" Nepgear asked and everyone shrugged before running down the hall.

"HAHAHAHAHA! Oh how I love destruction! Wouldn't you agree my dear friend?" I was waiting at the door for the girls and I was watching the horrible comedy act that Arfoire and copy paste were the main stars of.

"I'm begging you, shut up." The witch pleaded but her pleas were clearly unheard.

" **Three two one**." I counted down on my fingers as five cpus stood behind me one panting.

"Jeez Neptune you so out of shape." Noire commented and just like that my covers blown.

"Ahh the cpus and their boyfriend's have arrived." Boyfriends? Last I checked I'm the only confirmed male here. I looked ver my shoulder to see Steve with plutia standing behind everyone. My eyes shadowed as I looked at Arfoire

" **First things first. I'm single and will be single for the foreseeable future, second I will never be in a relationship with thundertits and last but not least...hey copy paste**!" I said the final part happily while waving at the hunk of junk.

"Ah the one who destroyed me! I've been awaiting your arrival so we could have a good fight!" Wow I almost don't want to melt him into a puddle of liquid steel. Almost.

 **"Then let us begin."** I said menacingly as the girls and Steve took on Arfoire.

 **round one FIGHT!**

As he charges at me and I teleported behind him and threw a ball of flames.

"Ow heh heh that hurt!" Oh a masochist thank you what ever hacking bastard who has made my dreams come true! As the world regained its colours I was hit to a nearby wall and he knocked a good chunk of my hp off. Maybe I should go skeleton? No not yet at least. I teleported right in front of his face and stuck a kunai into his left eye before teleporting to a distance and readied my swords. He eventually noticed me and charged at me so I naturally side stepped out of the way before both my hands caught fire and I ran at him dodging all the attacks he dished out until I reached his lower panel where I dug my hands into as I began to climb to his head but he isn't as stupid as he seems and as I got to his chest he grabbed me and started squeezing. Every bone in my body was cracking and I couldn't breathe, heh we all die someday right?

 **Finish hi-STATIC**

 **Play errorvania.**

I felt myself slip from copy pastes grasp and land on my feet.

"H-hmm? So you the one I-I-I have to **kill!"** My voice was glitchy. I looked down to see my appearance was similar to the skeletons but my jacked was black, my bones were red with the exception of my hands they were black with yellow fingertips. I clicked my fingers and a heart appeared on copy's chest that is immediately tangled up in blue strings which extended from my fingers. I flicked my wrist one way and he flew in that direction and then flicked it another and he hit Arfoire. Distorted and maniacal laughter followed as I closed my hand with the strings the heart shattered into a million peices and copy followed he's heart to the grave I hopped.

"N-n-now then-n-n, I would recommend running-ing-ing." I said to Arfoire who was still trying to figure out what had happened to her colleague after a few seconds she grinned before lunging at me with a spear. Everyone even iris heart gasped but I just raised my hand and the heart appeared on Arfoire and she stopped in her tracks. I smirked before flicking her out a window and changing back to everyone's second possibly third favourite fourth wall breaker.

 **end song**

"Whew! That was a workout and a half!" I said stretching a little while everyone de-transformed.

"I am grateful to you all for the assistance you provided on this mission." Vert said as everything started to blur

"Hey guys I'm going to black out see ya in the next chapter!" I said before a calendar on December popped into my mind with the twentieth and the twenty fifth circled.

"SHIT I DONT HAVE CHRISTMAS PRESENTS FOR ANYONE!" Were my last thoughts before I blacked out.

 **third person...**

"So did you guys go Christmas shopping yet?" Neptune asked the group.

"I've been to busy with work." Noire replied.

"I-I didn't have any friends to celebrate it with." Blanc admitted.

"I forgot!" Plutia said lazily.

"Um I haven't had time." Nepgear said.

"In alpha we don't celebrate Christmas for another month sooo yeah." Alpha vert said.

"I've been having to much fun with my twin sister to go shopping." Vert said hugging alpha.

"Me and Kian treat Christmas like we do every holiday. A chance to get some more drink, and less problems." Everyone shook their heads including the sleeping thief.

"Okay when we get back we are all doing secret santa!" Neptune exclaimed which temporarily woke kian.

"True goddess help us!" He murmured before slipping back into sleep

 **Not much to say other than thanks to all those who follow fav and review it really means a lot and I know I over use that sentence a little but I'm not lying so to all those pepole and even pepole who just started reading this thank you.**


	22. Christmas time!

"Why didn't we just buy a tree?" I asked myself as I walked through a forest looking for a tree similar to the photo histoire gave me. After about half an hour I found a cone shaped tree just about big enough to fit in the living room. With a flick of the wrist I was wearing a blue blood stained jumper and black shorts and I had an axe in my right hand while my other one stayed in my pocket and I could feel a part of my head missing. I walked over to the tree and disputed its average looking trunk it took two good swings to knock it down. I picked it up and teleported back to see everyone putting up decorations even the kids helped.

"Welp here's the tree." I said finally catching everyone's attention and a few pepole nearly dropped their boxes.

"What happened to you? Did ya have to kill for the tree!" Neptune asked and I remembered this version of the skeleton had blood all over him. Oh yeah um skeleton?

"Heh about time you came to talk kid, what's up?" The voice asked. What do I call you? "The names sans, sans the skeleton and boy do I have a _bone_ to pick with you." Pfft that was horrible.

"Nah just this version of sans is a _bloody_ idiot." I said and everyone face palmed well except Steve he charged at me with an ice sword but I hit him with the flat side of my axe while becoming normal again.

"So that's the finest tree in planeptune? The trees in lastation are so much better." Alpha noire said. Oh yeah o forgot to mention that everyone from alpha was here to wait where alpha plutia?

"I thought due to pollution lastation trees became extinct." I said setting the tree up in the corner of the room and I found a sleeping plutia under the tree. What a lovely present.

"Hey we got an early present here." I said and alpha plutia started to stir.

"Okay now how are we gonna pick who gets who?"" Neptune asked as I changed into a tux and had a top hat with everyone's name in it.

"Pick a name any name!" I said like a magician. Everyone picked a name and I got stuck with noire welp she's close enough to alpha that I jusy need stuff for cosplay and the person that got me is probably gonna get me something like a gun or a weapon.

"Now that we have that out of the way let say a quick prayer for mine and Stevens wallets." A moment of silence. "Let the shopping begin!" Everyone rushed out to get the supplies. I was in and out of a cosplay store with in minutes I got noire something called a next black cosplay and it only cost me a million credits! The funeral for my wallet will be on Tuesday. As I got back there was a box under the tree with my name on it much to my surprise. "Well that was-" I had a vision of a portal opening in the cave under planeptune and a figure stepped out with purple twin braids. I scribbled down a note reading.

 _"Got present and decided to go for a walk"_

I teleported to the cave and began to make preparations, sans recommend one of your forms for this fight?

"Probably reaper me, the guy is the God of death after all." Whoa really? I was now wearing a cloak and had a sycthe with a gasterblaster skull on the part closest to the handle. I began the waiting game. After ten minutes she finally opened the portal and jumped out though the fact there was a floating skeleton wearing a cloak almost made her jump back into the portal.

"Heya, you've been busy huh?" I asked and she got into a battle stance. "So I've got a question for ya, do you think even the worst person can change that everyone can be a good person if they just try?" She raised her sword with a smirk. "Heh here's a better question. Do you wanna have a bad time? 'Cause buddy if you take one more step you're gonna have a bad time." She smirked and took one step. "Sorry girl this is why I never make promises." Sans said before the world went quiet and the faint sound of birds singing drifted through the air. "It's a beautiful day outside, birds are singing, flowers are blooming, on days like these kids like you... " the world flashed red. " **SHOULD** **BE BURNING IN HELL!"** I said as I rushed at her with the intention to slice her head clean off but wouldn't be a final boss if it were easy so I attacked again and again before sending a wave of bones after her eventually I surrounded her by gaster blasters and they all fired but only two grazed her leaving a poison effect

"So that's why nobody uses their most powerful attack first." I said as a now familiar song played in the background.

 **play megalovainia.**

She charged at me and I side stepped to avoid her slash.

"What? Did you think I was gonna stand there and take it?" I sent three bones after her and she doged the middle one only to be impaled by one on the outside I had the other two turn around and cut her legs but she shook off the bone impaling her and sliced at me again which I ducked under and I countered with a slash of my scythe which took her down to half health and left a poison effect. I used telekinesis and picked up her soul but the interesting part was half it was black, I ignored it and proceeded to slam her off the walls while making bones come out of the walls as well now she was down to one hp, I made her come to me and examined her soul. One half was purple while the other half was black, corrupted. Sans any ideas.

"The corruption looks old its been there for a while and it has half her soul covered which is easily enough for what ever is corrupting her to take influence against her will so we can safely assume that she wasn't the one that killed you all those times, it was whatever is in her soul." Is there anyway to remove the corruption? "We can do it now-" as sans was explaining the black part of the soul disappeared and then manifested itself into a dark version of Purple Heart before running back into the portal closing it permanently leaving an unconscious Neptune in front of me with a fully purple soul.

"Let's get you home, we have a lot to talk about." I said to the girl in front of me before her eyes snapped open.

"Wah! Where am I?" She asked in panic.

"In a cave under planeptune." I said and she looked at me.

"Wait a minute your...oh my goodness it is you, kian right?" She asked.

"Yeah, how do you know my-" I couldn't finish before Neptune started to cry. "H-Hey what's wrong!?" If there is one thing I can't stand in life it's a crying girl.

"I killed you so many times and now I'm here defenceless, go a head end me. I won't hold it against you." She said closing her eyes accepting her faith.

"I'm not going to kill someone who was corrupted and was forced to kill me and rip off my balls." She looked at me wide eyed.

"But how did you know I was corrupted?" I pointed at the glowing Purple Heart.

 **end song**

"Half of your soul was black from corruption meaning whatever was inside you could take control of your body and force you do do things you don't want to do, and from what I can feel in your soul, you wouldn't hurt a fly even if that fly stole your pudding." I said and she started tearing up again. "Don't start crying me a river here! Seriously I can't stand girls crying." I said before letting her drop. "Oh by the way your just in time for Christmas so..." I dug into my pocket and pulled out a chocolate pudding. "...merry Christmas." She took the pudding cup and devoured it like an animal.

"Ahh~ More please!." She said woth those dam puppy dog eyes!

"Sure." I gave her two more cups dam you puppy dog eyes!

"Your actually a really nice guy exact opposite of what that chick who possessed my bod said." Neptune said seemingly just like this dimensions Neptune.

"Well was pleasantly surprised when i found out you were possessed, it meant that all neptunes might be the same." I said and she looked at me while tilting her head.

"You'll see once we get to the bass-oh fuck." I realised mid teleport that the alpha CPUs don't know she was possessed so that meant.

"Oh hey kian-Oh crap run for it!" Steve said and neppy (what I'm calling alpha Neptune) hid behind me.

"KIAN WHY IS SHE HERE!" A. Noire screamed.

"Alright everyone shut the fuck up!" I yelled over everyone else's yelling. "Ok as everyone in alpha knows this is Neptune it what they don't know is that for a long time Neptune was possessed by an evil thing that has retreated to alpha." Everyone's jaws were on the floor.

"He is right, I'm sorry for what that thing made me do but it wasn't me, I swear!" Neppy said bowing apologetically.

"Well if kians not running then what you say must be true." Steve said.

"So there's another me huh? Sweet!" Nep said.

"Good to have you back to who you used to be." A. Noire said.

"Aw shucks lonely heart that's so nice." Neppy said and the fumes that were coming off noises head were clearly visible.

"I'm not lonely I have friends!" A. Noire said defending herself.

"Oh yeah? Name one." Neppy challenged.

"There's um...uh...oh yeah kian!" A. Noire said and neppy looked in my direction.

"Dose the judge approve?" Neppy asked.

"Yes, and before we continue and the readers might have also noticed this by now but you all seemed to take Neptune being possessed thing really well." I said trying to be a voice of reason.

"Hush now friend there has been no need for logic in this fan fic so far so why start now." Wait a fucking second the worlds gone gray!? She can do this too?!

"Anyway I hope that everyone got their gifts." I said and noticed under the trees was an abundance of presents.

the next day"Welp to quote the fourth game in an overrated game series, tomorrow is another day." I had noticed it was pitch black.

"Aww neppers! I don't have anywhere to sleep!" Neppy complained.

"Sleep in kians room, he has a double bed." Steve said before a pair of kunai mysteriously appeared in his ball sack.

"Actually not a bad idea that way he can keep an eye on her and they can bond." Noire said I feel betrayed!

"I don't mind, if memory serves me well Kian has a hot bod~" Neppy said BAD TOUCH BAD TOUCH!

"Then its settled, Neptune will sleep in kians room." A. Blanc said sealing my faith.

"Sigh! Why me k, why me?" **Wait so you don't want to sleep with a girl? I always knew you were homo.** You will suffer pain with no end. As me and neppy got to my room I collapsed on my bed and closed my eyes, its been one of those days. The only sound in the room was the sound of clothes hitting the floor, wait she isn't! I felt something warm against my back before I passed out.

 **the** **next** **day...**

I woke up with two arms around me which belonged to the goddess who had been trying to kill me up until yesterday, guess Christmas miracles do exist, this thought left as quick as it came hen Neptune poked her head in the door...send help.

"Get up lazy bones!" Nep said before spotting her other self. "So you love me so much you made a clone so you could do pervy things to it? Never would have took you for that type of person." I got out of bed and flicked her on the head and closed the door.

"Ok so remember in chapter 14 I said something that has a very high chance of killing me. Well the Neptune in there is the reason I'm kinda immortal because she killed me twice." When I finished Neptune activated HDD and was about to break down the door. "Hey hey hey! What the hell are you doing!" I had to hold her back I was tempted to use sans's soul tk.

"She is a danger and must be eliminated." Purple Heart said and I gave into my temptation and holy shit it's a lot easier.

"Look I forgot to mention that the only reason she was trying to kill me was because she was possessed so just calm the fuck down!" I said and with a flash of light Neptune was back.

"Well ain't she lucky she's got a friend like you otherwise I would've had to nep her up." Neptune said and I patted her head in response.

"Now lets see what everyone got shall we?" I said walking into the living room to find everyone up and with a cup of coffee in their hands, Neptune made a b line for the tree and tore open her present and it was a packet of pudding and from the label it was from noire next up was Steve and his was from vert...if she undoes all my hard work I'll have to kill her. Steves present was a pair of keys?

"Uhh vert, what's this?" Steve asked the question everyone had on their minds.

"Well when you were in leanbox you kept saying how much you loved it so I bought an apartment for you right across the street for the bassilicom! Vert said excitedly while Steve started shaking.

"Tell me vert did Steve mention why he enjoyed his time with you so much?" I asked in a neutral tone of voice.

"To quote his words exactly, "It's nice that I don't have to deal with that asshole twenty four seven." Steve was on the ground seconds after vert said that and the reason being the katana stabbed through his manhood.

"Who's go is it now?" Everyone noticed one of my katanas was missing but decided not to act on it. Noire was next and to say she was shocked was an understatement she even dragged me out of the room.

"What the hell is this?!" She yelled.

"Oh I'm sorry I thought you were into cosplay." I replied.

"I am but how did you know that!?" She said a little quieter.

"Well you and alpha noire are like two sides of the same coin so I just bought you what I would buy her, sorry if I pissed you off by buying the cosplay but it's all I could think of." I said and she was thinking for a moment.

"You better be sorry and if anyone finds about it your dead!" Noire said and I smirked.

"Sorry to tell you but someone bet you to the point." I walked back to the living room to see nepgear opening her present from Steve and she got a build your own robot kit my initial reaction was oh how thoughtful but I then remember what she did with the body of a cyber shirai ryu and boy did it get ugly.

"Thank you so much Steve." Gear said with a bright smile and stars in her eyes.

"I might as well get mine out of the way." I had two presents for some reason one from nepgear and the other was unnamed. I opened the first to see my gun enhanced with a laser sight and a suppressor also it had been repainted purple and white instead of the crimson and black lines it was before. "Whoa this is beautiful, thanks gear!" I said before looking at the second gift, it filled me with unease for some reason. I opened it to find it was a disk and a note reading.

 _"Kian, you might not know this but you have forgotten something important but it may ruin your life but if you want your memories back and you want to know who and what you really are, then watch this disk when your alone._

 _sincerely, Determination."_

After reading the letter I felt really drowsy which I shouldn't feel having just woken up but I couldn't fight the urge to close my eyes and I was asleep in seconds.

 **Merry Christmas everyone and the reason I cut it here is because I am to lazy to think of gifts for the rest of the cpus and the alpha cpus so I have you all have a merry Christmas and a happy new year, peace!**


	23. The skelebros are together again!

I woke up impaled to the bed by blue bones which didn't hurt until I tried to move.

"Hurts doesn't it? Blue attacks hurt when you move so I'd sit back and relax." I tried to find the source of the voice but since there was a blue bone in my neck I couldn't turn my head but I'll describe it for ya'll its deep and cool but this person is clearly on edge.

"Well you could say I'm kinda _boned_ in this situation." I joked and my captor chuckled.

"Well I see you still have a _funny bone."_ he said and I laughed a bit.

"So what did I do to piss your boss off?" I asked.

"What makes you think I was hired?" The captor asked.

"Your to cool well that's the aura that you give off plus if you wanted to kill me you would've killed me already." I replied and the bones disappeared and when I sat up I saw a skeleton taller than me with a long orange scarf, some form of armour on his chest and his pelvis was covered by a blue armour and he wore red gloves.

"Wowie you can tell that by the way I talked." The tone of his voice changed into a slightly higher pitch.

"Yep, you might know this already but my names sans." I tried changing back to theif but I'm stuck as sans for now.

"Oh yes where are my manners, I am the grrreat papyrus! And I am your brother." I fell out of my bed.

"Brother?! What the hell are you talking about?" I yelled.

"Didn't you watch the disk frisk gave you?" Papyrus asked.

"No I actually passed out after seeing the disk." Papyrus looked sad after I said that.

"Well the first part should explain how you lost your memory." Pap said as I stood up.

"I know I forgot roughly half my miserable existence but I've come this far without my memory and I'm still alive with only a slight drinking problem and I rarely smoke unless Neptune noire and thundertits manage to piss me off." I said walking to the door. "Paps, ya coming or what?" He lit up at this.

"I would love to meet your friends!" I flinched at the word love for som reason. As we walked into the living room everyone was here and the tree was taken down.

"How long was I out?" I asked looking over a papyrus who shrugged. The phone began to ring and it was from the leanbox bassilicom. "Yellow?" I said picking up the phone.

"Tell lady vert that monsters have attacked her nation!" A female voice said frantically.

"Got it, hey thunder tits your nations under attack." I said and vert almost chocked on her tea, unfortunately she lived.

"What do you mean leanbox's defences are impenetrable!" She stated getting out of her chair.

"I didn't ask, but if i were you I'd get my big tittied ass back to your nation and stop the monsters!" I almost yelled before she flew out the window and the phone began to ring again.

"Yellow?" I answered.

"Could you tell lady noire that lastations security network has been hacked." An aggravated sounding man said.

"Right, Hey noire funniest thing lastations security network has been hacked and everyone's going batshit insane." Noire almost got up and strangled me but she was hit in the face by bones from papyrus who got a thumbs up from me.

"What do you mean my networks been hacked! There were firewalls and everything!" Noire said picking herself up off the floor and transforming to blackheart.

"Get moving and watch out for people with pitchforks and torches." I heard something along the lines of fuck you but she was to far away to get a clear answer. I was about to walk away form the phone when it rang again.

"I swear to satan if this is lowee steve owes me a million credits, yellow?" As i said this Steve whipped out his wallet revealing a measly twelve credits.

"This is the lowee bassilicom there is a giant robot reeking havoc on the bassilicom and we need lady blancs help immediately!" a mans voice said before hanging up.

"Blanc copypaste is back and destroying your bassilicom." Both blancs had red eyes which sent shivers down my spine.

"I'm going to tear that robotic asshole a new one!" They said in sync before flying out the window.

"Alright alphas you go to your respective counterparts nations and help out as much as possible, plutias neps your all with me, get moving people." I said walking tp the door before i remembered paps.

"Hey bro, any good at taking care of kids?" I asked papyrus who changed to story swap paps (The on where papyrus is toriel)

"I wouldn't be the great papyrus if I couldn't take care of little children!" Paps said proudly.

"Histoire, keep an eye on him." I said to the tome.

"Certainly." She said as me, steve and the planeptune cpu's teleported to the lowee bassilicom only to find it half torn apart and blanc was in a silent rage.

"Ok has anyone seen a sixty foot tall robot?" I asked the staff.

"I told him to go to the mines where he could destroy all the rocks he wanted." A male worker said.

"Right, thanks. OK blanc stop sulking and lets go fuck this sonovabitch up." I said walking out the door and the neps and plutias followed me. We waited about a minute before blanc decided to join us and we then teleported to the mines.

"Whoa its empty, cant even hear his voice." Neptune said as I activated my aura vision as I call it and saw the workers and copypaste mining.

"This way." I said becoming sans walking down the mineshaft. Eventually we came across the miners and the robot.

"I love mining with my pals." I couldn't fight the urge to puke and all the cpus looked at me.

"What? I'm allergic to the power of friendship!" i said as we began eavesdropping again.

"Wow copypaste your really good at this, and you said you worked for the seven sages?" One worker said and the robot nodded.

"Yes their my true friends and i would do anything for them!" He proudly said.

"Even die for them?" I asked the hunk of metal becoming what sans calls dusttale and boy dose my personality change when I'm this asshole, I just want to kill everything!

"Ah my friend who killed my twice!" Copy said as the cpus stepped out in hdd well everyone except A. nep

"We are here to pay you back for what you've done to lowee's bassilicom!" Blanc said.

"Copypaste you don't have to do this." One of the workers said.

"I know my friend but the seven sages are my true friends and I will fight for them no matter what side their on." Aren't I lucky I didn't eat this morning otherwise this entire mine would covered in puke!

"Get 'em copy paste!" The workers cheered.

"Shut it or your next!" I threatened. "Now you hunk of scrap we fought one on one for all our fights, I'd hate for this one to be any different." I said as my eye began to glow purple.

"Agreed, CPU of lowee I'm truly sorry for what I've done to your bassilicom but i cant fight you." The cpu's were almost in tears for some reason.

"Its a horrible day outside, birds are squawking, flowers are wilting. On days like these guys like me, **_should be burning in hell!_** " I said as the battle began.

 _ **play megalovania.**_

He rushed at me and i ducked under his hand and used sharp bones to make several holes in his hand and wrist. He hit me back using his only hand left which was ironically his left hand. He sent a shower of missiles at me and I destroyed them all using a gasterblaster so they wouldn't cause the cave to collapse down on us while we were fighting because that would be no fun. I ran at him again but when he tried to grab me this time his hand was blasted off by a white light, I ran up to him and jumped for his circuit board and drew my knife and carved a heart shape into his panel before ripping through all wires I could see and then the dam hunk of metal fucking blew up in my face!

"You could've at least provided a challenge." I said then everyone heard a creaking and i noticed the wooden beams holding the mine up were buckling in on themselves I immediately threw up some bones. "GET THEM OUT NOW!" I ordered the cpu's but they were shocked at what they had just witnessed but alpha Neptune had regained _sans-_ ity.

"Okay people forget your work and get out before your crushed, come on move it!" she began barking orders and eventually the CPU's snapped out of it and I was beginning to feel weak.

"Get the fuck out of here!" I yelled as the bones began to crack and I had to summon more to keep it stable the cpu's were about to book it when rocks fell in front of them. I summoned a gasterblaster and cleared the way for them. "RUN!" I yelled and when they got out I teleported outside the caves were the cpu's were held up checking for injuries while I sat on a rock. After awhile my sans form faded away and so did megalovania.

 ** _stop music._**

I took one cigarette and lit it up while I waited for the cpu's and boy did it feel good.

"Well you sure did a number on the cave." A. Neptune said and scared the shit out of me, so much so I accidentally swallowed me cig.

"Hey I'm not the criminal here! *cough*" Some smoke came up with the cough.

"Well we better go check on lonely heart!" She said happily when a thought crossed my mind.

"Hey I noticed that the other cpu's transformed and you didn't. Why?" She looked the ground when i asked.

"Well remember that shadow that appeared when you found me?" She asked and I nodded. "Well that, thing took my HDD with it so I'm kinda screwed." She finished explaining.

"Alrighty! Lets move slow pokes!" Neptune said and I stood up.

"Alright next stop lastation, I'm gonna need to top up there otherwise we are walking to leanbox." I said as the group which now included the lowee cpus were surrounded by purple light...sans care to explain?

"Well that's simple the colour of your teleport is reflected on the sans you last used in this case it's dusttale and his soul is purple." Strange...very strange. Anyway we were in lastation now and we were in the bassilicom! We also happened to be outside noires room and as plot convince would have it noire left her door open a little so we could hear the raging noire in all her glory.

"How the hell did this happen to me!" Noire said while alpha noire was doing paper work and bopping her head meaning she was listening to some tunes, wonder which one?

"So, I take it that the Russian's haven't revealed themselves yet?" I asked walking in the room with the other cpus while noire looked pissed.

"How do I know you didn't do it?" Noire asked.

"Look I'm pretty sure that there is a hacker version of sans but I haven't used it yet." I said as nepgear started looking around.

"So did you come to help or just to mock me?" Noire said when I noticed something sticking out from noire's bookshelf, when I inspected the item, turns out it was a wireless mic nepgear found the camera connected to the mic.

"Noire, care to explain?" I asked.

"Oh so noire has a fetish of watching herself work huh? Naughty girl." Neptune said and noire went as red as a tomato and with a flash of zeros and ones I was a sans who's coat was black with blue circuits running through it and the rim was bright blue, one sleeve had a keyboard with a monitor on it, my shorts were grey with blue stripes and there were two grey strings coming out of my back with the same blue circuits running through them. I hooked the mic and camera and connected them to the keyboard and typed in trace and I received some coordinates.

"Not noire, but someone has a serious crush on her, almost yandere level but you can't beat yunno." I said as we teleported to a broken down warehouse where the stalker supposedly hid.

"Wanna bet that the hackers the stalker?" I asked the group who nodded in response.

"Alright then." I became scorpion and cut the door into pieces. **" _Nice to see you haven't forgotten me_ "** Master I would never forget the one who thought me how to burn people alive and get away with it. Since there was little to no light in the corridor i took off my face and became a walking lantern.

"You or scorpion always freak the fuck out of me when either of you do that." Steve said and I responded with a shrug. eventually we came across a door and i cut it into pieces just like the front door.

"Ah my lovely noire and her less important friends, you finaly found me." I know that gay robot voice he kidnapped me!

"So I take it your the one who hacked our nation?" Alpha noire said, and the robot almost had a heart attack.

"*Gasp!* Two noires! You two guys don't know how lucky you are." The robot said.

" _ **Trust me it aint all that great.**_ " I had to dodge two pissed off tsunderes.

"Now now no need to act like you don't enjoy it." He said and i looked at him in pity

 ** _"Your pathetic you know that right, plus you got caught if i hacked the system i wouldn't get caught until about twelve years later."_** I said walking up to him.

"Don't come any closer or else I'll show the world your biggest secret!" He threatened causing me to smirk.

"You have nothing on me, I'm not even from this dimension." I kept walking

"Oh so your friends know your a murderer?" He said.

 **" _If they really are my friends then they wouldn't care if I started the planeptune massacre in alpha._** " A. Noire and A. Neptune shrugged.

"He kinda did, but in his defence I sent about twenty thousand soldiers after him when I was possessed, He killed each and every one of them." A. Neptune said.

"Wait, He's a self proclaimed murderer and your alright with that? Maybe my precious noire isn't as smart as I thought. But I still love her" The robot said while I looked for something to gag myself with.

"Anyway, stop hacking my nation!" Noire said while I put my face back on and rejoined the group.

"Ok on one condition, I get to share with everyone your darkest secret!" The robot said clicking his fingers revealing pictures of noire in cosplay.

" _ **Oh fuck.** " _I said as noire went as red as underfells eye. Wait who the fuck is underfell? As I covered my ears noire screamed while transforming into black heart.

"YOU WILL DIE!" Noire yelled charging at the robot.

"Sigh, well cant let her have all the fun now can we?" Neptune said transforming and the other cpu's followed. While I watched from a distance. Noire was in a blind rage it seems while Neptune is getting the occasional stab at the robot, alpha noire was hitting the robot with ranged attacks and blanc was spinning around damaging him slightly, master are their exes drives full? _Yes why?_ Because that gay bastard planned this!

"Fighting viper!"

"Cross combination!"

"Infinity slash!"

"Gatter ravine!" The cpus yelled but did nothing while the robot laughed.

"My machine disabed all your exe attacks!" As the CPUs advanced on their target a sharp piece of metal impaled the robot.

" _Get over here!"_ I yelled and we entered Kombat.

 ** _Round one, fight!_**

I ran at the robot who's name is apparently annoydeath and preformed an upward slash before chaining him back to the ground he had somehow made drones which shot me in the back and my response to that was stick a kunai into the machine and the drone, get it? I shoved a kunai into annoydeaths balls and then into his drones! Why aren't you laughing? You know what, fuck you.

"This is the end of you!" I said.

 ** _Round two, fight!_**

He ran at me and shoved his hand through my chest and threw me onto the ground before stomping on my ribs. I jumped up covered myself in fire and charged at him before he could block and this lead to me kicking his jaw and him into the air before sticking a whip into his skull and into his neck before pulling him to the ground. I ran at him with my swords drawn and sliced his left leg off and uppercutted him and when he hit the ground he was stumbling.

 ** _FINISH HIM!_**

As I was about to give into temptation noire tackled him to the ground and hit him in the face repeatedly until he was knocked out, I became hacker sans and deleted all the pictures of noire on his hard drive.

"Oh man he's gonna be pissed." Only Steve heard me and raised a questioning eyebrow.

"Have you taken away his fap material?" He asked.

"Yep and I'm currently hacking his suit and deleting all files of noire on that two, man his firewall is to easy." I said as I teleported him to the super max in lastation, I believe it's called nanbaka? Something like that.

"Hey what was that for?!" Noire complained.

"I'm meant to be the murderer in the group, take that away from me I have nothing!" I replied. "Alright next stop leanbox, you two coming?" I asked and they both shrugged.

"All the paperwoks in order so I guess we can tag along." Noire said.

"Yay, noires with us!" Plutia said in her usual tired voice.

"I was kinda hoping you'd decline but since your coming." We were surrounded in turquoise light and we were in a forest where tits for brains was looking for monsters

"So no monsters?" I asked walking up to vert.

"Very funny, so are you going to help or mock me?" Vert asked and I shrugged.

"I can do both." I said before I noticed something I probably should have noticed earlier. "Where's alpha?"

"She was taken away by a herd of monsters." Vert said as I heard the familiar screams of my 'friend'.

"She's this way." I said bored out of my mind. We found vert surrounded by dogoo and with a flick of my wrist then bones flew into the dogs.

"Jeez how weak can you get." I said walking away only to be head butted by a fish looking thing that did no damage so I grabbed it and threw it against a tree. The girls were all weirded out by it and I do admit there is a strange aura about it but it was still a fish to me. "Right I'm teleporting to planeptune, y'all coming or what?" They had all snapped out of whatever they were doing and nodded. We were surrounded by turquoise light again and we were in the bassilicom that was strangely empty.

"Histy we're home!" Nep yelled and the bin/thrashcan started shaking until it toppled over and histoires book fell out, so,etching isn't right.

"Pap, where are ya?" No one answered. I opened the tome as histoire fell out.

"Goodness, kian the children and papyrus have been kidnapped!" Histoire said as a shadow covered my eyes.

"What!? Kidnapped! Who would do such a thing!" Neptune yelled as I remained silent.

"Uh sis, maybe we should go after them before kian snaps." Nepgear said as I walked out the door.

"Hey! Where are you going!" Neptune yelled as I walked down the hall.

"Its a beautiful day outside, birds are singing, flowers are blooming, on days like this, the bastered who did this, **WILL BE BURNING IN HELL!** "

 **Nearly two months...well fuck me sideways, but anyway sans and papy are together again so yay. Sorry for the wait but I'm back I was talking a little break so expect uploads from now on, koreilly out.**


	24. Take papyrus, lose your life

**Neptunes pov...**

Me, nep jr, other me and both pluties (Who were being carried by me and nep jr) were flying around looking for a burning village or two but nothing.

"Uh, other me you said whenever he gets mad he burns a village or two but there isn't a single burning house." I heard the other me sigh.

"Then we're gonna need histoire to track down his aura." She said and almost instantly histy used her mind telepathy thingy.

" _I have pinpointed his location the CPUs are going to meet you there."_ She said as a waypoint appeared on the n-gear and we began flying towards a Cliffside dungeon only to find a guy with a giant knife wearing a white cloak with a black hood and white bandages covering the top of a white jacket looking thing which was covering a black long sleeved T-shirt. There was a white bandana covering his mouth and he was wearing black shorts with white stripes going down the sides.

"Well I wonder who that guy is?" Other noire said sarcastically.

"So do we help him or wait till he kills everything in the dungeon." Vert asked.

"ARE YOU ALL GOING TO STARE OR ARE YOU GOING TO FUCKING HELP ME!" He yelled as he stuck his knife into a dragons head.

 **Theif's pov...**

 **30 minutes ago...**

As I ran through the streets of planeptune I asked sans for a version of him with a weapon and he told me that there was one called Cross!Sans and once I got out of the main city boy was I glad he was recommended I mean holy shit the knife has to bee at least two feet long. I activated my aura vision and saw the aura of arfoire dragging IF, compa, peashy and an unconscious papyrus, the last part set something off in cross another voice.

"So cross planning to use the knife?" The voice asked.

"And what if I am? The CPUs ain't gonna stop me." I said while stepping on something that made a cracking sound which made me look down and what it's finaly snapped me in two. There was a bone with red thread on it. The rest of my journey was in silence until I got to a canyon filled with monsters.

"Ya know, pepole who get in my way often don't like the outcome so get out of my fucking way." I said running at the hoard which kept me busy until the cpus arrived.

"ARE YOU ALL GOING TO STARE OR ARE YOU GOING TO FUCKING HELP ME!" I yelled and they landed beside me before I started walking towards the first aura, compa and rat.

"This way." I siad as the cpus began to run in an attempt to catch up. Eventually I found the rat and compa so I grabbed it by the tail and slammed it to the wall.

"So rodent, you think it's 'cool' to kidnap little girls like a fucking pedo do you?" The rat was paralysed with fear as I began to move my knife closer to his neck. "TALK RAT!" I yelled as I felt a hand touch my shoulder and I looked back to see Neptune with a terrified expression.

"Are you ok?" She asked and my attitude changed.

"Honestly no. But I'm still gonna kill Arfoire for breaking on of paps bones." I said while adjusting my bandana and hood before walking on.

"Ugh shut up!" A pissed off witch said as I advanced.

"lemme go you old hag!" I looked over the rock I was befind to see a knocked out papyrus.

 **Play darker yet darker...**

"What is that horrific sound?" Arfoire said then I grabbed her threat and slammed her into the floor before taking the giant carving knife and slowly cutting her leg I very much enjoyed her screams of pain.

"Mind if I join in?~" Sadie asked and I gestured for her to join in and she happily joined in. After a few minutes we completely broke the bitch but we gave IF PTSD, I didn't care I walked up to the sleeping papyrus and examined the damage done. Cracked skull, broken leg, missing left arm. I changed back to normal and drew my katana while walking over to the witch before Purple Heart stepped in the way.

"Move." I said in mono tone.

"Look, I'll move if you tell me why you want her dead." I pointed over to papyrus.

"Now try to imagine that's nepgear. Then tell me that you don't want to kill the person responsible no matter who it is. So I'm going to ask one more time, move." I said trying to hold back my urge to murder someone but she still didn't move. It was hen I heard pap getting up so I became sans and ran over to him.

 **End music...**

"Sans? Why can't I feel my arm?" He asked and I began to sweat.

"U-uh Well pap that's because your _harmless._ " He gave me a death stare before sans began talking

"Hurry up and use a green attack!" My hand was glowing green and pap was impaled by green bones, but since the CPUS don't know green attacks heal pepole they screamed.

"You were going to kill Arfoire for killing your brother and now you shove bones into him! What's wrong with you?" Black heart yelled.

"Ok let me explain something. Green attacks heal wounds, blue attacks hurt if you move, orange attacks hurt if you don't move and and white attacks hurt regardless." I said as papyrus' arm grew back and the crack in his skull disappeared.

"Wowie! I didn't know you could heal brother." Pap said flexing his new arm

"Well bro I learnt you have healing magic and I was _green_ with envy." I said grinning while papyrus slowly raised his hands close to my neck.

"Sans...I will end you." He said as I realised.

"Where's peashy?" Papyrus then looked around with an orange eye while I looked with a blue eye, I should probably explain that we are looking for her soul which is yellow there was nothing.

"SHIT!" I jumped when papyrus of all people yelled shit but we both got glares from Sadie.

"Don't use such foul language in front of the children." She said and I rolled my eyes.

"Me and pap cursing in front of the kids should be the least of your concerns, since no one else noticed peashy is gone." It was then everyone noticed the lack of the bumble bee clad girl.

"P-ko! P-Koooo!" Neptune began shouting her nickname for the girl.

"She's not here, me and sans already did a scan of the area." Pap said while I prepared to teleport.

"We're heading back to the bassilicom maybe histy has some info." Alpha Neptune said as the group was surrounded in a blue light. When we teleported in the first thing noticed was the yellow aura it would seem as papyrus has noticed it too as he has a wide smile.

"Everyone she's here!" Pap said excitedly.

'This seem suspicious to anyone else?' I asked the voices in my head.

 ** _Your right, this is to plot convenient even for us, the witch from what I remember was quite dedicated to her schemes._**

 _I agree, the witch wouldn't let the brat go easily I mean she would've provided at least a decent hostage so why let her go?_

'Hell if I know but we're gonna need to be on guard from here on out.' I said as the voices faded out. I then looked out the window and as I saw a person with a green and yellow jumper a name came into my head.

"Greetings, chara ️." I said and as if they heard me they disappeared.

 **Ok so now this is an official undertale/neptunia crossover. Hope you enjoy the rest of the story, koreilly out**


	25. Yay! Theifs even more op!

After the whole peashy fiasco I went to bed and found myself in a void which wasn't entirely empty, there was a woman standing there with shoulder length black hair, blue eyes, about 5ft 3, black cardigan with a blue and black skirt.

"Ok now that your here we can begin." She said with a lifeless voice.

"Yes, Kian you cant trust chara or frisk." V said and u was as confused as hell.

"Ok so explain who she is and why I cant trust those two?" I asked and V looked at the woman who nodded.

"So this may or may not be hard to believe but your not from gameindustry, your actually from the same place the author originates from." The girl explained. **Your telling me that this bastard is from my world!?**

"Yes, but he had died while trying to defend a homeless man from a group of muggers." She said **...We are talking about thief right?** Fuck you author.

"Anyway he was brought to heaven and like everyone else he was given a choice between the deities. He was the only one who chose to worship the deity of vengeance." She finished gesturing towards V.

"Okay so your telling me that one of the voices in my head is really a god?" She sighed while shaking her head.

"Not exactly, he's sorta like a physical representation of revenge just like frisk is the representation of determination and chara sin." She said while I didn't believe her.

"Now I know this is a lot to take in but trust me everything she says is true." V assured me while I looked through him like he didn't exist.

"If V is the deity of revenge then what am I?" I asked.

"You are his vessel until he can regain his strength and generate a new body." The woman said.

"And what happens to me when he dose that." I asked just in case its excruciating death.

"You either become guardian of this dimension or a dimension of your choice or you become my personal guardian." V said and I began thinking.

"And what about papyrus?" I asked.

"He is the deity of judgement, harmless might I add." V said.

"And what about you?" I asked the girl.

"I was just like you, a disciple of _him_ before I was killed for good, fortunately you were near by so I made my soul jump into you." She said as if it were common knowledge.

"And your name?" She seemed surprised that I asked.

"I-its Alexis or as you called me Alex." She said. **(Is this cringe yet or have I not passed the line?** I personally think you have but the readers have probably read worse. **Wait you can get into the brackets!** Yeah? Cant everyone? **Not even Neptune can break into these.** Well dam guess I'm better than her. **)**

"Anyways we have a gift for you." Alexis said as a gauntlet wrapped itself around my arm.

"What is it." I didn't freak out because this isn't even close to finding out v is a god also author those fucking brackets aren't easy to get into so why can v! **As you said he's a god and your not.**

"Its part of your armour that was considered standard issue until people started hunting us down because we were weak and thus they didn't see the point of the armour which you took advantage of their negligence and collected the unique attributes that each armour had that's actually how you came across scorpion and sans." V said and the gauntlet finaly fully set on my arm choosing a colour scheme of red lines running across a black metallic surface.

"So do I have to find the rest like a typical RPG or what?" Alex rolled her eyes while V chuckled slightly.

"No but you do have to say your full name and that you will have your revenge." V said.

"Like this, My name is kian resnove and I will have my revenge!" I felt my arm be covered with metal followed by me chest then my lower half then my other arm and finaly my head and there was a pink and blue visor which quickly became purple.

"Its been so long since I've seen that armour." Alex said as I looked down to see a black chest plate with a red glowing star shape, my hands had been covered in armour with retractable claws, there was a replica of the gauntlet on my other arm, the left shoulder pad had spikes covering the majority of it while the right one had a bulky bit of red metal, the armour on my legs was flimsy looking but I could tell it would take a hell-a amount of damage to even leave a dent. The visor was in the shape of a v but I had to remove the helmet to get a good look at it. There where two blades (?) leading to the back of the helmet as well as teeth looking things surrounding the visor. All in all if you saw me coming for you you'd shit yourself.

"Looks like we are out of time, remember don't watch that DVD." V said as i woke up and I found alpha Neptune in my bed again! Seriously we need to get her a room. The gauntlet was still there and three holy auras were incoming.

"Sans, tell me that they aren't hostile." I asked the skeleton

"Sorry pal." He said while the windows smashed.

"Kian resnove, you are a wanted man come with us quietly or be terminated." The first one who sounded male said and they were all in similar armour to my new one only completely white.

"Look, I don't care what I did, please fuck off." I said and they all drew white weapons.

"Then we have no choice, perish!" The male said as I held him up with soul telekinesis

"Where is your honour dirtbag! Attacking an unarmed man!" I flung him at his friends.

"You of all people shouldn't be lecturing us about honour!" A female voice said.

"Do you know who i am?" I asked and they nodded their heads. "My name is kian resnove and I will have my revenge!" They took a step back as the armour began to form and what I had failed to notice in the void was a weapon on my back which looked like a long sword with a dagger attached to the but of its hilt.

The first one ran at me and I swung at him with my claws ripping through their left arm while kicking the male away and cracked his orange visor and with my free hand I used my dagger sword to stab one through the pelvis before quickly slashing upwards cutting the person in half, with the one whose arm i cut off I grabbed him by the head and lifted him off the ground before crushing his skull like it was a grape. The leader, at least I assume he's the leader tried to crawl to the window but was cut off by bones.

"Please, don't kill me!" He begged.

"Awww your begging, well I cant kill you now can I? Hahaha, truly pathetic." I said raising my hand and the man was impaled by bones.

" **Operator, new equipment detected!"** A section of the mans armour lit up and I removed a blue module before it disintegrated in my hands. **"Great news operator it appears as if it is an active camouflage enhancement!"** The voice who I dub ordis said as I clicked my fingers and made the bodies and the armour disappear.

"Kian?" I hear a voice say and i turn around to see the terrified looks of my friends and Steve, Johnny, Sonya and Cassie were all standing at the door, Steve looked like he had looked at satan himself.

"Uhhhh...I can explain?" I said as the final body disappeared.

 **Hey guys I swear I didn't rush this just to make up for the lack of updates or anything...B-Baka! just kidding hope you stick around for the rest of this story, koreilly out**


	26. Update

**Hey guys it's been a while sooo I've given it some thought and after I complete Nobel heart I'm quitting...sorry to tell you that if you actually enjoyed this bullshit I've been doing but for those of you who don't like me then good news...I'm leaving my other stories up here but you guys can take them and mood them however you please...so yeah I hope you won't miss me and if you want to find more stuff like my shit checkout the rwby section on wattpad and you'll find me eventually...this is koreilly wishing you all the best of luck and goodbye for now...still on hiatus btw.**


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